


You put me on and said I was your favorite

by fallendarknight86



Series: "Cardigan" [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Attempted Assault, Drama, F/F, F/M, Romance, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:20:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 34,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25996639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallendarknight86/pseuds/fallendarknight86
Summary: After a summer spent sharing stolen moments and secrets, where do Rachel and Quinn stand? It's their year to get it right or to part ways? It also features Punk!Quinn. Inspired by TS' Song "Cardigan". tw: it deals with mentions of abuse and an attempted assault (non graphical)
Relationships: Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray
Series: "Cardigan" [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2031283
Comments: 80
Kudos: 228





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N 1: So, I've been in love with Taylor Swift's new album "Folkore" and "Cardigan" is stuck in my head. I couldn't help but thinking of Faberry when reading the lyrics...so, hope you'll like this story.
> 
> A/N 2: flashbacks are in Italics, song lyrics in Bold/Italics

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters that belong to Glee and the lyrics/song belong to TS.

_Warning: it deals with an attempted assault and mentions of physical abuse._

CHAPTER 1

_trigger warning: mentions of attempted assault, not graphical_

**PART 1**

_**Vintage tee, brand new phone** _

_**High heels on cobblestones** _

The hallways looked the same way she had left them, just months ago when she had walked down them as a Junior student, after their loss at Nationals. A loss they could've avoided if Finn hadn't chosen to ruin every chance they had to try and win her over, with a romantic gesture that, looking back, wasn't romantic at all. She held it against herself more than she did it with Finn. He was like that. He acted before thinking things through. He reacted before weighing his options. It was his best and worst quality, at the same time.

It didn't take her much to reach her locker, right at the end of the hallway and in front of the auditorium. It was almost ironic how her locker was right across from the place that meant the most to her. The place that felt closer to a stage that she dreamt of standing on, in a few years from then.

"Hey." She hadn't enough time to open it when someone else's voice pulled her from it. A familiar voice that she had listened to, on her voicemail but never replied to.

"Hello Finn." Rachel closed the locker and leaned against it, holding her books in front of her. Had he become taller? She wasn't used to stare so upwards anymore. Usually, it took her a slight tilt of her head to find her target.

"You never returned my calls." Finn rubbed the back of his head, almost unsure of what to hope for as an answer. Didn't she care anymore? What was the kiss they shared? A goodbye?

"I am aware, Finn." Rachel held his gaze.

"Why?" He furrowed his brows.

"Because I needed time to think and talking to you wouldn't have helped." Rachel sighed softly.

"So, you want to give this a try?" He gestured between their bodies. "I know the kiss at Nationals meant something to you or you wouldn't have kissed me back."

"It did, Finn, but it was a mistake." She looked down at her feet. "We lost because of it."

"But...It was the right thing to do, wasn't it? You always wanted me to be more spontaneous." He tried to take her hand but she pulled it back.

"Not in front of everyone, ruining all the chances we had to win Nationals." She crossed her arms over her chest. "You could've chosen a more appropriate moment to show your renewed interest for me."

"I thought you'd appreciate it more." He muttered.

"You thought wrong." She whispered under her breath, not knowing if he had caught it or not.

"Can I walk you to class?" He tried again, clearly missing what she had just said under her breath.

"Okay." Rachel re-opened her locker to check her schedule and leave the books she didn't need.

"Is that t-shirt new?" He had noticed it when he had approached her. It was not really Rachel's style, but it fit nicely around her.

"It's an old thing." She looked down at it, unable to help a soft smile.

"It's nice, better than those sweaters for sure." He chuckled softly. His comment caused her smile to drop and her locker to be shut, almost forcefully.

"Hurry up, I don't want to be late for my first senior class of the year." She turned on her heels to walk towards her first lesson, with the guy in tow.

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

_It was late. She was supposed to call once home but nothing happened. It was almost 3 in the morning and her phone had never alerted her of any incoming call or text or any other form of communication. It had been silent for hours. For long hours that kept her awake and unable to get her beauty rest._

_Bringing her knees to her chest, she wrapped her arms around herself and stared down at the phone beside her. She could call her but why make the first move? Why was she supposed to be the first to reach out to her? It was a dance they had done all summer. It had become the habit Quinn had tried to run from. It had become something they both needed, in the end._

" _What's that frown for, Berry?" That familiar voice was better than any call or text. She looked towards her window and caught sight of the girl climbing through the window, with her heels in her hands._

" _Where have you been? Do you know what time it is?" She stood and moved to help her, once aware of her inebriated state. "God, did you fall head first in a brewery?" She slipped her arm around her waist, supporting her._

" _I didn't drink much, but this guy kept buying." She shrugged, leaning onto the brunette until they reached the bed and she fell on her back on it._

" _You're lucky he didn't ask for anything back." Rachel got the water bottle on her bedside table and offered it to the ex-blonde, who drank avidly from it._

" _I wouldn't have let him take anything from me." She almost finished it and wiped her chin with her hand, not really minding her bad manners. "Why are you up? Don't you have a date with your elliptical at 6?" She checked the clock by the bed._

" _You didn't call or text. You said you'd call." Rachel sat beside her._

" _I came here, isn't it better?" She grabbed one of her pillows and dropped against it, closing her eyes for a moment. "I'm a big girl, Rachel. I can take care of myself."_

" _Like you took care of that guy in the parking lot?" Her fingers threaded through her messy locks. "You ended with a bruise." She trailed her fingers over her cheek, to trace the mark that was no longer there._

" _I just bruise easily." She reached for her wrist and held her hand there, against her cheek._

" _Still…" She stifled a yawn._

" _Lie down, you must be tired." She tugged her down beside her and curled on her side, facing the brunette with their hands between them, on the mattress. "You shouldn't worry too much about someone like me."_

" _Someone like you?" She shifted enough to rest her head on the same pillow. She was so close that she could smell Quinn's unique perfume despite the alcohol. Despite the cigarettes. Despite everything she was trying to do to hide herself behind._

" _I was looking for this." Quinn's eyes roamed to the t-shirt she was wearing to bed. "I thought my Mom had thrown it away."_

" _You left it here and...do you want it back?" Rachel opened her eyes to look at it._

" _Keep it. I know where you live." Quinn settled comfortably and let her eyelids down, along with her guard._

_She was safe there._

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

"Finn, you don't have to follow me around all day." Rachel held onto the open door of her locker not to stare at the boy, who had become her shadow.

"I wasn't an attentive boyfriend in the past, but I want to be better." He leaned against the lockers and looked down at her. "I don't mind being late to classes. Teachers will close their eyes since I am on the football team."

"That's a little unfair, don't you think?" She looked at him sideways. "You get a pass because of your letterman jacket, but what makes you so special?"

"I'm the Quarterback and Titans are important for this school." He stood straighter, puffing his chest out with pride.

"Yet, you haven't won a trophy in 20 years. I think the last one happened when my Daddy was the Quarterback." She shut the locker to look back at him, seeing his smile fall. "I don't mean to discourage you, Finn, but we should all be equal. Your jacket shouldn't put you on a pedestal."

"What about the cheerleaders and the hockey team? They get free passes as well." He pointed to the group walking by.

"Everyone, Finn. I am not saying they are better than the football team. We are all equal." She sighed. Was it too hard to understand? "Same thing with the slushie showers and the bullying. It should end, once for all."

"I don't see you telling Quinn or Santana these things though. Why do you take it out on me?" He huffed in protest.

"Quinn is no longer a cheerleader, Finn, and Santana is not the one trying to court me, is she?" She pointed out. "You want to give this another try? Then, do something to stop the slushie attacks. You're the quarterback after all, right?"

"Quinn is not back on the Cheerios?" He was confused. "Since when?"

"Since she chose Glee over it? Weren't you behind that choice?" She shook her head. "Did you forget you two dated again last year?"

"Yes, but...it was just. It was a mistake, it shouldn't have happened. I wanted you." He tried to justify himself, but she really didn't care about it. "She cheated on me."

"So did I and you helped her cheat on Sam with you. What's the point, Finn?" She sighed.

"I don't know…" He was confused. He was trying to find a better way to justify his actions when something caught his attention behind Rachel's back. "Oh damn."

"What?" Rachel turned around and caught the object of his attention. It was walking down the hallways, parting the crowd as usual. "Quinn…" She whispered mostly to herself.

"What happened to her?" Finn watched his ex stroll down the hallways with no care in the world. She kept on walking, with her head high and an aura of danger that kept everyone in their place and silent.

No one dared to make a comment. No one dared to move and just stared at this angel fallen from heaven.

"Life." Rachel whispered knowingly when Quinn passed by her, throwing her a glance that meant more than words could ever do. A glance that was for her and no one else.

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

**_tw: attempted assault_ **

_Her Dad was supposed to pick her up after her ballet class. He was supposed to be there already but he was running late and here she was, standing in the empty parking lot in front of the dance school, with no one around and just a few cars parked around her. She could always catch the bus ride home, but the bus stop was at least 15 minutes away. Maybe she could try walking home and meet him halfway._

" _Hey honey, need a lift?" A silver car slowed down in front of her, with its windows rolled down to let her catch a glimpse of a man, in his mid 40s and a smile that was supposed to be reassuring but it actually gave her chills._

" _No, thank you, Sir." She checked her phone and held it over her ear, hoping her Dad could at least pick it up._

" _Where's your boyfriend? A girl like you shouldn't be alone at night." He stopped the car but stayed inside._

" _I am not alone, my Dad is just around the corner. Thank you for your assistance, Sir." She took a few calculated steps back, towards the building she came from. Maybe they could still let her in while she waited, even if it was past the opening hours._

" _Where do you live? I can drop you." He had exited the car now and had rounded it, to get closer. "I know you from somewhere, do I? Where do you go to school?"_

" _Sir, really. I'll be fine on my own." She looked behind her to see how many feet separated her from the building. Maybe if she ran, she could make it._

" _Are you scared of me?" He chuckled, advancing on her. "I mean no harm, honey. I want to help you out."_

" _And I appreciate that-"_

" _Do you? It looks like you're acting like an ungrateful little brat, after all. You're running from a man who is trying to help you out, that's not nice." He was getting closer and she was still far from the building. "But isn't it all the same with you? You lead us on with your skimpy attires and then you change your mind."_

" _Sir, I didn't mean to offend you." Rachel reached in the pocket of her sweatpants for her phone. Why couldn't her Dad pick the phone up?_

" _Too late. You're like every other girl. You're another stupid whore!" He reached out for her but Rachel didn't feel his hands on her._

_She saw him sprawled on the floor, struggling with someone who had him pinned down. "Quinn?"_

" _Don't you dare to touch her, asshole." The taller girl struggled to keep him down. She had a fair advantage due to her surprise attack but she was smaller and weaker than this man. "Get help." She nodded to the building behind them._

" _What do you think you're doing, bitch?" He set his hand free and managed to slap her across the face, sending her off him and giving him an upper hand. He tried to pin her down, but she managed to roll out of his way and deliver a kick between his legs, making him double over in pain, holding his groin. "Fucking bitch."_

" _That teaches you a lesson for trying to assault a girl." Quinn got back on her feet, in a protective stance. It was like Russell had taught her. One hand to protect herself and the other to attack._

" _You're going to pay for this." He got on wobbly feet and ran to her, but she was quick to dodge the attack and kick him into the rear, sending him face down into the curb._

" _Quinn." Rachel ran back to her, with one of the security guards in tow. He stood in front of the two girls and held his gun up, aiming it at the guy who was now sprawled on his back with his hands up in surrender._

" _Are you okay?" Dropping her guard, she turned to the brunette. "Did he touch you?"_

" _No. Your cheek." She reached up to touch the mark on her face, where he had back-slapped her. "Does it hurt?"_

" _I dealt with worse blows." She smiled sadly and looked at the guy, who was being restrained against one of the parking lots' pillars. "Do you know him?"_

" _No, he just…" Shaking her head she looked away from his smug face. What might have happened if Quinn hadn't been there?_

" _It's okay. It's over now." Quinn pulled her in her arms and hid her face in her shoulder, protecting her from the predatory look on his face. "You're okay."_

" _Where did the blonde go?" She sniffed against her shoulder._

" _You noticed that, huh?" She rubbed the back of her head and simply held her against her, while they all waited for the cops to be there and arrest him._

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

"You're late." Rachel watched her slip through her window, like she had done for the whole summer.

"You could've locked me out." Quinn set her heels down and closed the window behind herself.

"I should've." She sat against the headboard, with a book in her lap and her eyes following the ex-blonde around her room. "How long until Mack calls and you're off to get drunk?"

"I don't think she'll be calling tonight. Got a brand new phone." Quinn threw it carelessly on the mattress.

"What happened to your old one?" She reached for it and unlocked it. Quinn was always so predictable with her pin codes. Same 4 digits.

"Lost it. Dropped it. I don't remember." She crawled onto the mattress, dropping on the side she usually occupied when she stayed over.

"My number is already in here." Rachel looked at the other girl, who shrugged.

"You have the same number since 9th grade, Rachel. I could recite it along with the US Anthem and the Hail Mary." She settled comfortably on the pillow and closed her eyes.

"Why did you give me your phone, then?" She shook her head and slipped down to lie beside her, mimicking her pose.

"Don't you want to pick my ringtone for you?" She tilted her head to look at the brunette.

"You know what you should pick, Quinn." She rolled on her side to face her.

"Your rendition of Don't Rain On My Parade?" She smirked.

"Quinn Fabray!" She smacked her arm, earning a wince from the ex-blonde. "Did I hurt you?" She lifted the sleeve of her shirt to reveal a fading bruise. "Quinn…"

"It's just a bruise, Rach." She pushed the sleeve back down. "I told you...I bruise easily."

"Who did this?" She looked at her.

"It doesn't matter, Rachel. Let's drop it." She sat up.

"How can I ignore it?" She sat up as well. "You're hurt. Someone hurt you."

"It's not the first time, nor it will be the last." She muttered under her breath, but she had been heard.

"Who hurt you?" She reached for her but Quinn stood up, pocketing her phone. "Why do you always feel like running when things don't sway your way?"

"Because it's easier, Rachel. Do you want me to stay and do what? Tell you all my secrets so you'll start pitying me? No thanks." She opened the window. "I don't need your pity. I don't need anyone's pity."

"I am not going to pity you. I want to help you." Rachel sat on the edge of the mattress.

"And what do you know about that?" She threw her heels outside and just slipped out of it, leaving the brunette behind.

_**When you are young,** _

_**they assume you know nothing** _

**PART 2**

_**But I knew you** _

_**Dancing in your Levi's** _

_**Drunk under a streetlight,** _

_**I knew you** _

_**Hand under my sweatshirt** _

She found her under the bleachers. She found her smoking with her group of misfits, which saw her as their leader. Of course they did. Quinn was a natural leader, despite the people following her. Cheerleaders or outcasts. Popular crowd or losers. She was born to lead and anyone would've trusted her with that power.

She was surrounded by them, sharing cigarettes and a half empty bottle of cheap vodka, that could've had her suspended if caught.

"Hey, where do you think you're going, Berry? You stink like soap." Ronnie stood in her way, stopping her with both hands on her shoulders. "Who told you we'd be here?"

"I followed the smell." She talked back, earning a few chuckles from the rest of the group. "It looks like soap is not part of your daily habits?"

"What should I do with her, Quinn? Beat some fear into her head?" Her fist clenched and unclenched. She was stretching the muscles in her hand, readying it to deliver a strong blow.

"Leave us alone." Quinn barked from behind, making them scramble to their feet. Everyone but Mack was out of her sight within 5 seconds. "You didn't hear what I said?"

"I did. But maybe I can stick around for some fun…" Mack circled Rachel. "Heard you singing. Can you put your vocal chords to better use?"

"I am not...I don't follow you." Rachel turned with the taller brunette, not wanting to give her the back as she moved around her.

"Oh, I think you do." She stopped in front of Rachel. "Do you know why they call me the Mack? 'Cause I like to make out with truckers at rest stops. I could make an exception for you."

"Mack, get out of my sight." Quinn grabbed onto her shoulder from behind. "Now." She pressed hard enough to make her wince slightly and just nod, leaving them alone.

"You didn't have to do that, you know?" Rachel held the strap of her bag higher on her shoulder.

"What do you want, Rachel?" Quinn lit a cigarette up and blew the smoke out, with her nose.

"What do I want? What do you want, Quinn? What are you doing, really?" She pointed around them. "You're smoking and drinking on school grounds. You set a piano on fire! You could be suspended for this."

"I won't. Figgins likes my family's money too much to allow it, plus it's not my fault you're ruining school properties for your stupid Glee numbers." She chuckled.

"Stupid Glee numbers? You hear yourself? Glee was your family, once. We were there when…"

"When what? When my family kicked me out? If Finn had stayed away from Glee club maybe I wouldn't have had a reason to be homeless, don't you think? If he hadn't chased after your ridiculously short skirts, I wouldn't have lost everything. Glee ruined everything." She threw the cigarette aside and stomped on it, with her boot.

"You don't really believe that." Rachel took a step back.

"Why not? Glee took everything away from me." She laughed sadly. "My boyfriend, my friends, my popularity. What do I have, Rachel?"

"You have me." She took a careful step forward. "We are friends, aren't we?"

"Are we? How long are we going to do this, Rachel? What is this, really?" She gestured between them. "We spent a whole summer together, but where does this leave us? What are we?"

"Friends. You're my friend, probably my best friend." She stopped. "Don't you feel the same?"

"I don't know, Rachel." Quinn looked away. "I don't know anything anymore."

"You're just angry and sad...I'm sorry you're so sad all the time, but I am here for you. I am not going anywhere…" She looked at the ex-blonde, who was staring off in the distance.

"For how long, Rachel?" She turned to stare at her, catching her off guard. Her eyes were filled with so many emotions that Rachel couldn't help but look away. "How long until Finn will ask you to choose? Until you'll have to focus on him and your future? You think I'll hold a candle in comparison with your boyfriend? The guy you've always wanted by your side? The guy you love?"

"Finn is not everything, Quinn. He's just a guy." She wanted to reassure her of her loyalty to whatever bond they had established during the summer.

"He's your leading man. You don't chase someone like that for years just to park it to the side for someone like me." She smiled sadly. "You don't need someone like me to drag you through their mess."

"Quinn…" She tried to get closer, but Quinn simply moved back.

"You should keep your window closed, Rachel. The temperature is going to drop soon." With that said, she turned around and walked away from the brunette.

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

"So…" Finn walked her to the door, one hand laced with hers and the other in the pocket of his letterman jacket.

"So…" Rachel stopped under her porch, on her doormat.

"Are your parents home?" He had noticed the lights being off. Maybe they could move it inside the house for a make-out session like the old times.

"Not tonight, Finn. I'm very tired." She sighed and slipped her hand from his, knowing where his mind had just gone to.

"I didn't say anything." He kept his hands in his pockets and watched her retrieve her keys, slipping them in the locks to open the front door.

"We just went on a date and you've been a perfect gentleman. We should say goodbye here." She switched the lights on and threw her purse on the table by the door.

"I can wait with you until your folks are back. It's not safe." He tried to peek inside but Rachel pulled the door with her, blocking his view.

"I'll be fine, Finn. It's a safe neighborhood and I will put the alarm on, when you leave." She leaned against the doorway, with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Okay." He nodded dejectedly. "It was nice, right? Did you like the movie?"

"It was nice, yeah." She really didn't care about fast cars and hot girls in bikinis but she went along with it.

"We could go out again, next Friday. I'm playing but we can have a late dinner or go to one of those parties." He stepped closer and braced himself against the doorway.

"We'll see, Finn. I'm not a fan of parties." She rested her hand against his chest, not really to brace herself rather to stop him from going further. They were close enough. Maybe too close.

"It's a bonding experience, if we're dating we should show up." He added. "Quinn and I used to do it."

"I'm not Quinn." She took a step back. "I think we should call it a night, Finn."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." He sighed softly. "I know you're not Quinn, but I'm still a football player and I should make an appearance there."

"We'll talk about this tomorrow, Finn. Drive safely." She leaned up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek and stepped fully inside the house, closing the door behind herself.

"No kiss on the lips? Looks like the date hasn't gone that well." Quinn leaned heavily against the archway that led to the kitchen, where she came from.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were done breaking in through the window." Rachel leaned against the front door, sighing in relief when she heard Finn's truck drive away. "How much did you see?"

"Enough to wonder if he's always been so bad at dating us." She brought the bottle to her lips and drank from it. "I am drunk yet I know not to bring up an ex with your current girlfriend."

"You should tone the alcohol down, Quinn." Rachel walked up to her, reaching for the bottle but the blonde dodged her and held it up above their heads. "I'm not kidding, Quinn."

"Neither am I." She finished it and sat it on the kitchen counter, resting both hands on Rachel's back for support.

"You're hurting, but I don't know why." She steadied her, holding her around the waist.

"Something that can be forgotten after a bottle of vodka and cheap cigarettes." Her hands slipped under the hem of her sweater, resting against the small of her back. "Have you ever danced with a girl before?"

"There's no music, Quinn." Rachel looked at the blonde, who was grinning down at her. It was an obvious drunk smile.

"You've got the music in you." Quinn whispered in her ear, making Rachel shiver in her arms. "Sing for me and I'll lead this dance for you."

_**Can I start again, with my fate again?** _

_**'Cause I can't go back and endure this** _

_**I just have to stay and face my mistakes,** _

_**But if I get stronger and wiser, I'll get through this** _

Rachel couldn't think of any other song. She kept on repeating the words they had written together and dropped her head against Quinn's shoulder, as she swayed them slowly in the middle of her kitchen room. She felt Quinn's hand wander along her back, under her sweater and she knew it wasn't really what friends acted with each other but she couldn't really care. They could always blame it on Quinn's inebriated state but what was her excuse to enjoy it?

"You'll get it right. I know you will." Quinn pulled back once she had stopped singing and just looked down at her, with eyes heavy with tiredness and sadness. "I should get out of your hair, now." She tried to move, but she had to brace herself against the doorway.

"Stay here. You can't drive like this." Rachel's arms circled her waist, holding her up. "Please, Quinn."

"Okay. I'll stay." Quinn nodded softly and followed her upstairs, back to the familiar bedroom that she had promised herself to stay away from.

Less than 24 hours later, she was back to square one.

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

"Quinn…" Rachel found her in one of the bathrooms with her new group of misfits. With a cigarette dangling from her lips, the pink haired girl was ignoring the way the Skanks were coercing a freshman cheerleader into giving them her lunch money. "Hey, what are you doing?"

"Why are you always here? Do you want to become one of us?" Ronnie came forward. "You still stink like soap."

"Quinn, will you handle your minions and let the girl go?" She stood in front of the ex-blonde, who simply uncrossed her legs and looked down at her. She looked at her in a way that made her blood run cold in her veins. In a way that Finn never made her feel. "Quinn…"

"Get the money and let her go." She nodded to Ronnie and Sheila. "Leave us alone." She grabbed some money from her pockets and threw it at Ronnie, who caught it and just pushed the cheerleader out of the bathroom, following her orders. "There you go."

"They're bullies, I thought you were over this." She took a step back now they were alone. "The slushies and the slurs stopped, why can't you handle them?"

"I am handling them." She killed the cigarette in the sink. "If it weren't for me, your Glee club would be harassed from the moment you step in this school until you leave in your nice car. I'm targeting cheerleaders and jocks. Do you want me to switch?"

"No. I want you to stop this." She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Why should I? Because you said so?" She washed her hands and looked at the brunette through the mirror above the sink.

"Because we're friends and you know this is wrong. You could be suspended for this behaviour." She stood behind the taller girl. "It's your senior year, Quinn. Why do you want to throw it all away?"

"You think I'm going somewhere once this year ends? Do you think I care? I'm a statistic, Rachel. Why should I worry about becoming another loser in this stupid town, when I can have some fun before it happens?" She wiped her hands. "You're one in a million, Rachel."

"It's not true. You can go back to the Cheerios and get a scholarship." She turned the girl around. "You had the highest grades of our class, you're smart and you can leave this place. We can both leave."

"We? There's not an us, Rachel." She looked at her. "There's you and then Finn. Have you forgotten about him? You should worry about leaving with him."

"I haven't." She looked away from Quinn's eyes. She felt under scrutiny.

"You should attend that party with him. It will make things easier." She nodded softly. "Ask him for his letterman, it will pay off to get accepted by his crew." She squeezed her hand and just walked away, leaving her to her thoughts.

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

"Berry, you made it." Santana greeted her with a red cup in her hand. "Took you long huh?"

"You're drunk already?" She sniffed the contents of the red cup and pulled from it. "It's not even 10 PM."

"I don't need to wait for midnight to get drunk and laid. That's Cinderella." She smirked over the rim of her cup and took off to find Brittany among the crowd.

"You should mingle more. Take this." Finn handed her a familiar cup and drank from his beer.

"It's illegal, Finn. We are not allowed to drink." She turned it down. "Don't you care about getting caught?"

"Live up a little. Stephanie is the Mayor's daughter and is throwing this party." He shrugged and kept on drinking. "We won't get in trouble."

"I'll go find Kurt." She looked around for a familiar face from the Glee club but she found none.

"He wasn't invited. Only Football team and cheerleaders and the plus ones." He smirked and pulled her in by the waist. "We can find a quieter place to make out?"

"Maybe later, Finn." She slipped out of his arms. "I think I saw Tina." She moved through the crowd towards her friend, who was sitting in a corner with Mike. "Hey guys."

"Rachel. Fancy seeing you here." Mike smiled. "I never thought you'd cave in and come."

"A friend gave me a push." She looked down at the letterman she wore. It was too big for her and it smelled like that cheap perfume Finn insisted on wearing.

"A friend that recently turned punk and is ruling the school rebels?" Tina winked at her. "Only Quinn would suggest ways to improve your relationship with Finn."

"She was in my shoes, with Finn." She looked at the guy engaged in a beer pong game. "I don't know how she did that, I feel…"

"I don't know anyone either." Tina nodded. "She has a talent for it. She can mingle with any crowd making you feel comfortable and at ease, as if you were always part of this."

"I didn't know you two were friends." She took the letterman off and sniffed her dress, hoping it didn't stink of Axe.

"We're not best friends but she helped a lot. When I stood in a corner, she never made me feel alone. I was part of the crowd because she was there and believe me, when she's in your corner you feel invincible." Tina kissed Mike's head.

"Yeah. I know the feeling." She reached for her phone and checked her texts or calls. None. Why was she hoping to see something from the ex Headcheerleader? "Can you excuse me?" She brought her phone to the ear and walked out of the porch door, entering the almost empty backyard.

'Quinn Fabray, leave a message.'

"There you are. What are you doing out here?" Finn's arms slipped around her midriff from behind and his lips found the skin of her neck.

"I needed to make a call." She tried escaping his grip, but his hold was strong.

"Your Dads?" He nuzzled his face into her neck and rested his hands on her waist, caressing it through the dress. "You're hot tonight."

"Just tonight?" She managed to escape him and turn around to face him.

"You're always hot, even when you start rambling about things that I cannot follow." He dropped on one of the lawn chairs and pulled her in front of him. "I drank a little too much."

"I can drive you home." She ran her fingers through his hair.

"Will you stay the night?" He buried his face against her stomach. "All the guys are having sex with their girls, can we do it?"

"Finn...you're drunk." She sighed and rubbed the back of his head.

"I can still get it up." He looked up at her. "When will we have sex? I want you."

"I am not…I don't think I am ready yet, Finn." She took a step back.

"25 is a long time, Rachel. You can't ask me to wait that long without giving me a preview." He tried pulling her back in, but he ended up bending over himself.

"A preview? You're lucky you're drunk, Finn." She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Like a movie! A teaser!" He said enthusiastically before leaning to the side and emptying the contents of his stomach on the perfect green grass.

"Oh, Finn." She kneeled behind him on the chair and held his head back as he kept on relieving himself of his alcohol intoxication. What a party.

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

She saw her when she parked Finn's truck in her driveway. She had taken him and then driven herself home, hoping she didn't stink too much and that her parents were asleep already. Jumping down, she locked the truck and walked to her porch, meeting Quinn's eyes.

"Hey." Quinn flicked the cigarette away so naturally, that she was left to wonder whether there was something she couldn't do without being so elegant.

"Hey." She leaned against one of the wooden pillars, hands wrapped around herself. "What are you doing here?"

"I was in the neighborhood." She stood from the swing and leaned against the opposite pillar, resting her hands behind her head in a relaxed pose.

"At 1 AM? What's so interesting around here ?" She smiled softly.

"You." Quinn's words wiped her smile. "How did the party go? Did you mingle enough to get a pass for the next party?"

"It's not really my scene, but Tina and Mike were there to keep me company until Finn started getting sick." She looked down at her shoes. It was pure luck that she had gotten out of it without ruining her clothes or shoes.

"He never kept his alcohol down. I should've warned you." She nodded knowingly. "He tries to keep up but he's not a drinker...that's a quality you inherit." She chuckled sadly. It was another pro of being a Fabray, after all.

"I wouldn't call it a quality, though." She rubbed her arms slowly.

"Points of view." Quinn pushed herself off the pillar and slipped her jacket off. "Here." She draped it over Rachel's thin dress and brought her collar up, to shield her neck from the colder breeze. "You must take care of your vocal chords."

"Thank you." Looking up into her eyes, she couldn't help but take a step closer to feel their fronts brush. Despite the appearance, Quinn still smelled like lavender and old spices. Despite the cigarettes, her breath smelled like peppermint.

"Where's his jacket?" Quinn's hands trailed along her forearms and then dropped to her sides.

"Gave it back to him, to cover himself. It smelled like…" Rachel looked away, trying to concentrate on what to say.

"Like a boy's room." She chuckled softly. "That's why I always kept my letterman on. You should think of buying him a new perfume."

"Was it like that with Sam?" She buried her nose against the collar of her jacket, taking in the scent that was unique Quinn's. She was trying to be discrete, but she knew she was failing terribly.

"Sam was in love with his body. I wonder if he actually smelled better than I did." She took a step back to get her cigarette pack.

"Impossible." Rachel found the cigarette pack inside the pocket of the jacket she was wearing. "Despite all your attempts to look like a Skank who doesn't care about your personal hygiene…" She held it behind her back, challenging the ex-blonde to take it from her.

"I've got another one in my car, you know?" Quinn raised an eyebrow in question.

"You won't get this back anyway. I think I'll keep this too." She took the Zippo from the pack and played with it, seeing the flame go on and off.

"If you want me to show you how to use it, just say the word." She smirked.

"Word." Rachel smirked back, earning a soft and amused chuckle from the taller girl.

"Funny Girl." Quinn covered her hand with hers, closing the lighter and killing the flame once for all.

"That's my favorite musical." Rachel brought her hand over her waist, tracing the scar at the base of her wrist with her thumb. "Cheerio battle wound?"

"Broken bottle of whiskey." Quinn felt her thumb freeze and stop her gentle caresses.

"Quinn." Rachel's hand held her wrist a little tighter.

"You should get inside, it's getting late." The pink haired girl leaned down to drop a soft kiss on her forehead. "Have a good night." She slipped out of her soft grasp without too many protests from the brunette, who just leaned against the pillar and watched her go. She was like a safe storing all her secrets inside and she only wanted to find the right combination to get in.

_**Baby kiss it better, right** _

_**comments? thoughts? please leave your reviews ;)** _


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your kudos and comments and likes, hope you'll enjoy the update

CHAPTER 2 

**PART 3**

**_But I knew you_ **

**_Playing hide-and-seek and_ **

**_Giving me your weekends_ **

_She couldn’t sleep. It had been a couple of days since the attempted assault in the parking lot and she hadn’t been able to shut her eyes and fall into a tireless sleep. Whenever her eyes closed, she saw him. She saw him smirking at her. She saw him advance, ready to attack her. Whenever her eyes closed, she felt unsafe._

_Rolling on her side facing the window, she looked into the clear night and up at the moon shining high and bright. It was so bright that she could see everything in her backyard._

_From the big oak tree outside to the houses across the street, where teenage kids and their parents slept peacefully. Or at least she hoped so._

_She was restless. Why couldn’t she get over it? Nothing had happened. He hadn’t touched her. He hadn’t laid a hand on her, thanks to Quinn. Thanks to a girl who jumped to her defense without batting an eye. She held onto her pillow when her phone beeped beside her, alerting her of a text message._

_Unknown: ‘Hi’_

_She read the text and the unknown sender. What to do? Was it a prank? Maybe the right text sent to the wrong person?_

_Rachel: ‘Hello’_

_She typed back. What did she have to lose?_

_Unknown: ‘Can’t sleep? Did I wake you up?’_

_Rachel: ‘The former. Whom am I having a phone correspondence with?’_

_Unknown: ‘Figures you’d call texting in some archaic way.’_

_Unknown: ‘It’s Quinn.”_

_Rachel: ’I had a different number.’_

_She made sure to add it to her contact list._

_Quinn: ‘Changed it. Do you want to go for a walk?’_

_Rachel: ‘Now? But it’s 2 AM.’_

_Quinn: ‘I am outside.’_

_Rachel slipped from her bed and padded to the window, opening it to see a familiar girl standing in her backyard, under the pale moonlight._

_“Come down.” She mouthed clearly._

_“Cannot.” She shook her head and got her phone, sending her a quick text._

_Rachel: ‘Can’t climb down and the front door will alert my parents. Sorry.’_

_Quinn: ‘I’ll come up.’_

_Rachel furrowed her brows and watched the ex-blonde reach for the oak tree outside her window. She watched her scale it with ease, balancing herself on the strongest branches until she was at the same level of the roof outside her window. She jumped on it, landing on her feet like she used to do when she was a Cheerleader and climbed through it, standing in front of Rachel._

_“Hi.” Quinn stood in front of her._

_“You haven’t lost your touch.” Rachel checked her out for any possible injury but she was fine. She was perfect._

_“Once a cheerleader, always a cheerleader.” She sat against the window still. “I can help you climb down.”_

_“I don’t want to fall.” Rachel looked away from her._

_“Oh. Well, we can still hang out here.” She kicked her shoes to the side and wiggled her bare toes against the hardwood floors. “Your room is soundproof?”_

_“Yes. My folks can’t hear us, but you should go before breakfast.” Rachel took a seat on her bed, stretching her legs in front of her. She could almost touch Quinn’s feet with her toes. “Why are you here?”_

_“I had a feeling you were awake. I can’t sleep much lately.” She shrugged._

_“I can’t keep him off my mind.” She looked away. “He’s always there when I close my eyes.”_

_“He can’t hurt you. They got so much shit on him, he’ll be locked away for years.” She nudged her foot against the brunette’s. “But I can’t forget either.”_

_“I never thanked you.” Rachel looked at her._

_“For what?” She pushed herself off the window and took a seat beside her, stretching her legs enough to feel her backbone pop._

_“For being there to save me. I don’t know what could have happened if you-“_

_“Don’t think that, okay? I got there in time and you’re safe. He never touched you.” Quinn tilted her head towards her. “What time do you have your ballet classes tomorrow?”_

_“I don’t...I don’t know if I will go.” She leaned in her touch._

_“I’ll take you and we can drive around afterwards. Maybe we can hang out with some of my new friends.” She brushed her thumb over her cheek. “If you don’t mind skateboarders and abandoned grocery stores.”_

_“What a crew.” Rachel chuckled. “You don’t have to, you know? I am sure you have plans for your summer without me.”_

_“Hanging out with them doesn’t require a proper invitation. Tag along, if that’s not your cup of tea, we can part ways after I take you home.” She checked the clock by the bed. “I should let you get some sleep or at least try.”_

_“Would you mind staying? It’s late for you. I don’t want to worry about you making it home safe, when you can drive home in the morning.” Rachel reclined against the pillows and patted the space beside hers._

_“I’ll crash here, but don’t think I’ll make it a habit.” She settled on her stomach beside the brunette, arms under her head._

_“I’ll keep it to myself.” Rachel rolled on her side to face her and rested her hand against the mattress, fingers brushing the underside of her toned forearm._

_With Quinn there, she felt like sleep could come. Maybe a sleep without faces haunting her. Maybe a peaceful sleep allowed by the sense of safety Quinn could provide by being there, whenever she needed it the most._

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

_“Who taught you to skate like that? Was it Hank?” Sitting on the hood of Quinn’s car, she nodded towards the 40 year old man who acted like a kid and had tried to hit on the ex-blonde for the whole time. “Did anything happen between you two?”_

_“Hank? He could be my uncle.” She slipped beside her and leaned against the front window, staring up at the starry night._

_“He kept on hitting on you.” Rachel muttered, leaning back beside her and looking up at the sky above their heads._

_“Jealous much? He’s not my type.” Quinn smirked. “You can have him.”_

_“Ew, no. I’d never go for it.” She sent him another sideways glance, catching him hitting on a bottle blonde girl, a few years older than them._

_“You’re still thinking about Finn? I thought you two would try to make it work, this time.” Grabbing a cigarette, she lit it up and exhaled slowly. “It’s your last summer here.”_

_“He called and texted but I am not ready, yet.” Rachel looked at her profile, trying to read any discomfort even if she had brought it up herself. “We could’ve won, hadn’t it been for him.”_

_“Maybe. He thought you’d appreciate his grand romantic gesture. It’s always better than singing about your unborn baby in front of your very Christian parents, though.” She chuckled softly._

_“He has the worst timing ever.” Rachel sighed softly and rolled on her side, adjusting her head against her hands to stare at Quinn._

_“Like dumping a girl at someone’s funeral?” She flicked the cigarette away. Her hands moved behind her head, to pillow it against the hard surface. “Do you ever wonder if there’s someone else out there?”_

_“God, you mean?” She followed her gaze._

_“No. I mean someone else. Someone like us watching from the other side and wondering about this, like we are doing now. I think it could be possible.” She talked softly. “There are so many galaxies out there, why couldn’t there be life out there?”_

_“I didn’t know you were a space nerd.” Rachel chuckled, but she was intrigued. “You should become an astronaut.”_

_“I wanted to. I’ve always wanted to travel to the Moon or go further, maybe Mars. Can you imagine what’d be like exploring the Milky Way? You know there are about 100 thousand million stars in our galaxy and we only know about the Sun.” Quinn kept on looking above their heads._

_“Tell me more…” Rachel couldn’t keep her eyes off Quinn. She was amazed by the ex-blonde, almost as much as Quinn was by the outer Space._

_“You may think that Mercury is the hottest planet due to its proximity to the Sun, but Venus is hotter. It’s because Venus has a lot of Gasses that creates a Greenhouse effect. Usually, the temperature is around 860° F.” She stared at Rachel, expecting to see a bored look on her face, but her eyes were filled with sincere curiosity. “You’re sure you want to hear this?”_

_“Yes.” Rachel scooted closer, tentatively tucking herself into the ex-blonde’s side._

_“Are you cold?” Quinn undid the knot of the sweater she had around her waist and draped it over their bodies, covering them partially._

_“I’m better now.” Her hand held onto the edge of the sweater, pulling it over her exposed shoulder. “Spending days like this is new. I’m used to being on my own most of the time.”_

_“Well, if we lived on Mercury, a day would equal to 58 days on Earth. Tricky how time works, huh?” Quinn smiled softly._

_“And if we lived on Neptune? Or Pluto?” Rachel challenged her back._

_“Pluto is no longer a planet, sadly.” Quinn grinned. “On Neptune, it’d be 16 hours; but it actually takes approximately 135 Earth years for Neptune to completely circle the Sun. It's the farthest from it.”_

_“You’re a nerd. Do your new friends know about it?” She looked around them, but it was just the two of them. No one else had stayed back and waited for them._

_“They don’t care or wouldn’t understand.” Shrugging she slipped off the hood of the car. “C’mon, I’ll take you home. Your curfew time is about to be up.”_

_“I don’t have a curfew!” Rachel took the sweater and slipped off her side of the car, following the ex-blonde inside her red Beetle._

_**I, I knew you** _

_**Your heartbeat on the High Line** _

_**Once in twenty lifetimes** _

**PART 4**

Seeing her was like a bucket of iced water being poured over her head. She felt emotionally drained. It was like seeing a ghost from her past that was still haunting her every night. She had demons, for being someone so young. One of her demons was the woman sitting at the piano, inside the music room where the “Troubletones” were supposed to meet up. 

“You’re back.” She had to hold herself up, against the doorway of the room. She knew she had been heard, that’s why the other woman’s shoulders had tensed and her fingers slipped from the keyboard, ruining the melody she was playing. 

“Quinn.” Shelby would’ve needed to sit down, if she hadn’t been seated already. How could someone as young as Quinn carry so much weight on her shoulders, already? “You...what happened to you?”

“When did you get in? How long are you staying?” She crossed her arms over her chest and took a step forward. 

“Figgins asked me to coach the Troubletones for a few weeks, it’s a short job really.” Shelby stood, fixing the imaginary wrinkles in her skirt. 

“Is she here?” Quinn didn’t want to sound so hopeful, but she couldn’t help it. It was Beth. It was her daughter. It was her baby.

“Of course. She’s with the babysitter at my family’ s house.” She couldn’t help the smile blossoming on her face. 

“Can I see her? I mean...maybe we can meet up later?” She reached for her phone. She needed to get Shelby’s number and address. She also needed to get a gift. She couldn’t really get there empty handed. 

“What happened to you, Quinn?” She pointed to the new look she was sporting. “Actually, I know what happened. It was different with Rachel, but I felt conflicted, you know?” She walked to the board, erasing the notes she had written down. “She was never mine to keep but I wanted...a part of me wanted to keep her, at some point, but I couldn’t and I know I did the right thing.” She looked back at the younger girl. “I did the right thing because I would have never been able to provide her with what she needed. I was too young and so were you.” 

“That’s totally different. You did that for money, I...I had no choice.” Quinn looked away. 

“No, Quinn. You had a choice and you chose to do the right thing for Beth.” Shelby dropped the eraser on the desk, leaving a trail of white chalk powder behind. “If you had kept her, would have you been able to give her what she needs? She’s a child, Quinn, but so are you.” She stood in front of her. “You were just a child who made a mistake and still managed to turn your life around. What is this supposed to mean? You’re telling me this is the real you?”

“It’s more real than Miss Perfect Blonde, though. I’m not going back to that.” Quinn took in a deep breath. 

“Have you ever been that girl, Quinn? You have always been more than just that. Perfect girls don’t get pregnant at 16.” She looked at her with a soft smile. “But you don’t have to be perfect, you just have to be you.” 

“This is who I am. Can I see her?” She stared back at Shelby. 

“No, you’re lying to yourself. I know that and you know that too.” Shelby leaned back against the desk. “You’re 18, Quinn. This is your last year to get it right and become someone. It’s time for you to graduate and to become an adult and do you know what adults do?” She stood up again. “Adults do not punish themselves for the wrong choices they made as a child.” She rested one of her hands against her shoulder. “Stop punishing yourself, Quinn.”

“If I stop, can I see her?” Quinn sniffed softly. “Please.” 

“Get a grip on yourself, first. I came here for the job but also because I wanted you and Puck to see her. She deserves to know where she comes from.” She pulled back from the pink haired girl. 

“Do you have a picture?” Quinn stopped her before she could leave the room. 

“Yes. It’s from two days ago.” Shelby reached for her phone and handed it to the girl. “She’s got your hair and eyes.”

“The nose is Puck’s.” Quinn traced her face with her fingertips. She had grown so much since she had left her at the hospital. 

“Better than the hair, don’t you think?” She chuckled, earning a watery smile from the young girl in front of her. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

**“** Shelby is here.” Quinn found her in the auditorium, practicing a new solo.

“What?” She found her in the dark, walking towards her from the back.

“She is in town, for a few weeks or months. She is coaching the Troubletones.” Quinn hoisted herself on stage and met her halfway, in front of the piano.

“How long have you known?” Rachel looked down at her shoes.

“One hour. I just left her in the music room.” Sighing, she stared ahead into the darkness behind the scenes.

“How are you feeling about that?” Her first instinct was to pull her in a hug, but she knew it wasn’t going to help. If anything, it was going to push Quinn further in herself and behind her emotional walls.

“I don’t know. The woman who adopted my child is here and I cannot see her.” She clenched her hands in tight fists. 

“Why not? Is it because of the closed adoption thing? You were not supposed to know it was Shelby then.” She was confused.

“Puck saw her. Puck held her and is in the pictures with her and I cannot do it. How fair is that?” She turned around and eyed the piano bench. Would it hurt too much to kick if far away? “I gave birth to her. I carried her for 9 months and what did he do? Got me drunk enough to keep my thighs open for 5 minutes.”

“She cannot keep you away from Beth. What did she say to justify her choice?” She tentatively took her hands in hers and wrapped her palms around her fists. 

“That I need to get a grip. This is not the real me.” Quinn chuckled. “What does she even know about me? I have been struggling for years, who does she think she is? Does she think I am happy like this? I don’t think I have ever been happy.”

“Don’t say that.” Her thumbs brushed against the back of her hands. 

“If it’s the look, I can just...it’s gonna take me two hours to get rid of all of this.” She pulled her hands back. “This nose ring? Gone.” She unclasped it and threw it aside, hearing it drop somewhere behind the last row of seats. “The pink? If all she needs is seeing me dying my hair blonde and pretending to think I'm special, that's something I'm willing to do.” 

“Quinn.” Rachel watched her walk around the stage, clearly losing every control she held over her emotions. “You don’t need to pretend. You are special, why can’t you see it?”

“Am I, really? What do I have, Rachel? What do I have after two years of lies and heartaches? Everyone has their big plans. You have New York, Finn has football and even Puck has his own pool cleaning service. What do I have? She is the only thing I had. A perfect thing.” She dropped on her knees, hands on her face. “Do you know how hard it is to do something perfectly? I’ll never get a chance again. So even if I never leave this town or accomplish anything, I’ll have her back. If Shelby lets me see her and have a bond with her, I will have my daughter in my life.” She released a sob she didn't even know she was holding. 

“God, Quinn…” Rachel dropped on her knees in front of her and simply pulled her in her arms, letting her cry against her chest.

She had many things to tell her. She had many reasons to give her to dispute her words but it wasn’t what Quinn needed. 

She didn’t need to hear her, there would be a different time for that. Right now, she needed to feel someone was in her corner. She needed to know she wasn’t alone. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

She didn’t know what pushed her to be there. She didn’t know why she had decided to visit her, after everything that had occurred between them. After the pain and the rejections. After the truth about her past. After her hopes of having a bond with her birth mother had been smashed to the ground, like a crystal ball. After she had chosen to take care of someone else’s baby. To become someone else’s mother. 

“Rachel?” Shelby was surprised to see her there. With messy hair and sort of disheveled clothes, she had to hang onto the door not to stumble back in surprise. 

“Is it a bad moment?” She shifted her weight from one foot to another, holding the package under her arm. 

“I...no, it’s fine.” She looked around the small living room and shut the door close. “May I offer you anything to drink? Water? Soda? Tea?” 

“Water is fine.” Rachel looked around and followed her in the open kitchen, sitting the package on the counter. “I brought this...for Elizabeth.” She pushed it forward. 

“You didn’t have to.” Shelby smiled softly. “I’m sure she’ll love it, even if she won’t be able to say it herself.” 

“It’s nothing really. I didn’t want to come here empty handed.” The brunette undid the buttons of her trench coat and took a seat at the kitchen island. “It’s a nice place.”

“My parents’. It’s cozy and big enough for my short stay.” She handed her a glass. 

“How short? How long are you staying?” Rachel took a tentative sip, staring at her over the rim of her glass. 

“A month. It’s a temporary job, then I’ll go back to New York.” Shelby eyed the room of her bedroom and then looked back at the brunette in front of her, hoping she hadn’t caught her nervousness.

“You’re in New York? Back on Broadway?” She perked up at the city of her dreams. 

“Not on stage. I am mostly a consultant or helping producers with auditions. I can’t go back to perform.” Shelby ran a hand through her hair.

“Because of Elizabeth?” Rachel nodded softly. 

“You’re the only one who calls her that way.” Shelby smiled softly. Rachel was really one of a kind. 

“It’s her name. It’s what Quinn chose.” She furrowed her brows, finishing her water. 

“That’s why you’re here? For Quinn?” Shelby tensed. “She’s sending you?” 

“No, she doesn’t know I am here.” Rachel was quick to reply to that. “She told me about you being here, why didn’t you come find me? Am I just another student to you?”

“You know that’s not true, Rachel. You’re still my daughter, but I didn’t know if you wanted to see me.” She reached out for her hand, but the younger brunette took it back. 

“Of course I’d want to see you, even if you decided I could be replaced with someone else’s baby.” She crossed her arms over her chest. 

“I didn’t replace you with Beth. When I had you, I was a surrogate and you were never mine to keep, Rachel. Your Daddies wanted a baby and I helped them...but if things had been different, I wouldn’t have been able to keep you. I had just turned 18 and was on my way to New York.” 

“And of course your future was too important for a baby to get in your way.” She stood up. 

“You don’t know what it feels like, Rachel. Why don’t you ask Quinn?” She followed her. “Why don’t you ask her what it means having to make a choice? Or maybe you want to experience it, huh? If you were in my shoes, you’d do the same. You’re like me more than you really want to admit and your dreams would always come first.” She tried to keep her voice down. 

“You’re right I don’t know what it feels like, but I know what being left behind means.” Rachel stood in front of Shelby. “I’m not talking about 17 years ago. I am talking about 2 years ago when I came to find you and you chose to...you chose I wasn’t worthy of your time. That I wasn’t worthy of being part of your life.” She didn’t realize she had raised her voice until a familiar cry came from the room on the right. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry you were left behind, but it wasn’t my intention to.” Shelby looked conflicted between her 17 years old daughter who obviously needed this and the baby who was crying her lungs out, in the other room. 

“Clearly. But what do I know, right?” Rachel shook her head. “I’ll see myself out.” She turned on her heels and reached for the door, opening it when a familiar letterman jacket caught her eye on the coat rack. “What…” Getting closer, she took it and turned to face Shelby. “Where is he?” 

“Rachel, it’s not what it looks like.” Shelby held her hands up. 

“He’s still here. God, you fucking disgust me.” She threw it to the floor and pushed past the woman. “NOAH!” She yelled enough to make the glasses of the liquor cabinet shake. 

“Jew Babe…” He had heard her perfectly. He had heard them arguing and stayed hidden, like the coward he still was, in her bedroom. 

“Don’t. Don’t you dare.” She took a step back when he tried to take her hand. “You are sleeping with her? How can you even stand to look at your reflection? How can you do this to Beth? To Quinn?” 

“Quinn has nothing to do with this.” He stepped fully in the living room. “Beth is my daughter and I just want to be part of her life. This is my family.” 

“Quinn has everything to do with this!” Rachel stood in front of them, mad like never before. “That’s why you didn’t want her to see Beth? So you could keep on having this...this affair with him?” She stared at Shelby. 

“No. This was not planned, I swear.” Shelby looked at the boy, who rubbed the back of his shaved head. “I want Quinn to be part of this but she has so many issues-”

“And you don’t? God, you’re sleeping with a student. You don’t see the issue with that?” She laughed sarcastically. “You could lose your job for this. You could lose Beth for this!” She knew she had hit a nerve when Shelby’s color drained from her face. “You didn’t even think of that, did you? God, you’re fucking stupid.” 

“Hey! Don’t call her that, she’s-” Puck tried to come to her defenses. 

“She’s what? My mother?” Rachel turned to the boy. “Beth’s mother? You gave up on your rights to be a father and now you want Beth back? Where were you when Quinn needed you to step up and be a father? When you let Finn take the blame for what you did to her?” She shouted at his face. “Have you ever apologized for what you did to her? Have you ever apologized for having taken advantage of her?” She lunged at him, when a pair of arms pulled her back. 

“Rachel...stop.” Quinn’s arms tightened around her, pulling her back from doing something she would’ve ended up regretting. Shelby had dropped to her knees, hands covering her face while Puck just slid down the wall, breathing hard. They had been so caught in their argument that they had failed to see the other girl come into the apartment through the open door. 

“Quinn…” She struggled against her grip. She pushed against her chest, taking her anger out on her rather than on her mother and the boy she used to consider a friend. She pushed against her restraining hold, hitting her chest and trying to get herself free from her grip. “They...let me go.” 

“Rachel, please.” Quinn’s back was to Shelby and Puck. She didn’t even care to stare at them. She just needed to keep Rachel from beating them up, driven by her blind rage. 

“Quinn…” She dropped her head against her shoulder, releasing a sob that she couldn’t hold any longer. She felt like she could pass out at any moment. She was so exhausted. She felt so devoid. She felt emptied of all her emotions.

“I’ll take you home, okay?” Quinn whispered softly in her ear. Her arms kept her up, while she still sobbed in her shoulder. 

“Quinn…” It was Puck’s this time. 

“Don’t. You’re dead to me. To both of us.” Her voice was so cold that she even surprised herself.”Get the fuck out of here and don’t you dare to come back.” She felt Rachel tense in her arms. She was taking the anger from her and dealing with it her own way. Dealing with it the only way she knew. 

“But…” He looked at Shelby for any kind of support, but the woman could only nod softly. He sighed and pushed past the two girls, still embracing, and walked out of the door with his jacket on. 

“What are you going to do?” Shelby’s voice had never felt weaker. It was dripping with fear of getting fired and, even worse, to lose her daughter over it. Were they going to take Beth away from her? 

“Take Rachel home.” Quinn looked down at the brunette in her arms. “Beth must feel scared, you should go check on her.” She rubbed her hand up and down the petite brunette’s back. It was soothing for both of them. 

“I meant-”

“I know what you meant. But we’re too...I’m just too angry to think properly.” She looked at the woman, who had gotten to her feet. “If it were for me, I’d report you to Figgins but Beth deserves better than losing her mother and so does Rachel.” She lifted the girl’s head off her shoulder. “You’re ready to go?” 

“Yeah.” She sniffed, wiping her cheeks angrily. 

“Let’s go.” Quinn nodded softly, wrapping an arm around her waist to help her walk out of there. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“Rachel...we’re here.” She shook her awake, having parked in front of the familiar driveway. The brunette had passed out in the passenger seat, under one of her favorite sweaters, that she always kept in her car. 

“Quinn…” Rachel nuzzled the seat, keeping her eyes closed. She was comfortable and warm. She felt safe, surrounded by the familiar smell of lavender. 

“We’re home, you need to wake up.” Quinn had undone her seatbelt to be able to turn towards the sleeping brunette. Her hand trailed along the side of her face, caressing it with the back of her knuckles in a gentle way. “C’mon, little star.” 

“Quinn...where are we?” Her eyes opened and landed on the blonde girl, who was looking down at her with a soft smile. “Where did the pink go?” 

“I told you it wouldn’t take me long to get rid of it.” She smiled sadly. “I took you home, you should get some rest.” She nodded towards the familiar house behind them. 

“I am not tired.” She sat straighter and looked down at the sweater pooled in her lap. 

“Yes, you are.” Quinn knew her too well. She was exhausted, physically and emotionally. She knew that feeling, because it’s how she felt as well. The events of the night were taking a toll on her too. “You dozed off the moment you sat down.”

“Sorry.” She looked away. 

“No need to. I feel the same.” She leaned back in her seat, staring at her profile. “Thank you.” 

“For what?” Rachel turned to look at her so quickly, she risked a whiplash. 

“For what you did tonight, you didn’t have to come to my defenses like that.” Quinn gripped the steering wheel. “It’s nice to know I have someone who has my back.” 

“I couldn’t stand there without doing or saying anything. It’s not fair.” Rachel’s fists clenched around the hem of her dress. “What they did is not fair to you and Elizabeth.” 

“It’s not fair to you, either.” Quinn rested her hand on the hand the closest to her. “Shelby is still the woman who gave birth to you and I know you’re hurt by what she did. You didn’t have to go against her for me.” 

“Why not? She did something wrong.” Rachel’s hand relaxed under hers.

“She’s your mother.” Quinn looked down at their hands. 

“You’re my friend.” Rachel’s palm turned upwards to lace their fingers, palms touching. 

“Yeah.” Quinn nodded softly. She basked in the feeling of their hands laced together. With every touch, she always felt better. She always felt at peace with herself. It was all because of Rachel. “You should get in, your Daddies must be worried about you.”

“You don’t see it, right?” Rachel used her other hand to tilt her head upwards, to stare into her uncertain eyes. 

“See what?” Quinn was at loss. She was lost in Rachel’s eyes, feeling a mix of emotions that were not supposed to be there. She wasn’t supposed to feel like that for Rachel, was she? 

“What you mean to me.” Her thumb brushed over her high cheekbone and then lower, almost touching the corner of her lips. 

“I see it, but I don’t understand why.” Quinn’s eyes closed, involuntarily. Her thumb was so warm against her cold cheek. 

“Because you’re Quinn Fabray.” Rachel kept on stroking the side of her face. “You’re simply disarming. You’re the girl we’ve all wanted to be at some point, without wanting to share the burden you’ve been carrying on your shoulders since you became that girl.” She held her palm against her cheek. “Because you’re more than just your looks and I want to know what’s under the surface.”

“No one wants to dig so deep, Rachel. You should stop before you realize it’s been a waste of your time.” Quinn pulled away, staring ahead of her. 

“Why do you think that?” Rachel stared at her profile.

“Because there’s nothing to find, when someone doesn’t feel anything anymore.” She recalled Finn’s words. She recalled sitting in his car, feeling equally empty when he just decided she wasn’t worthy of his time anymore. It had happened before. It would happen again. 

“Look at me...tell me you don’t feel anything, staring at me.” Rachel’s hand gently cupped her face to turn her towards her. “Say it again, now.” 

“I don’t feel…” She felt her lips tremble and her heart speed up in her chest. She felt like it was about to jump out of her ribcage, if possible. “Rachel, I don’t…” 

Leaning across the space between their seats, their foreheads pressed together and their lips parted, mere inches from each other’s. “I know you feel it too.” Rachel’s hands were cupping her cheeks, wiping the slow tears trickling down. 

“We can’t…” Quinn took in a deep breath. “We can’t do this.” With one hand against the steering wheel and the other holding the back of the headrest of the passenger seat, she held herself back from touching Rachel and pulling her closer. From pulling her into her arms and taking the last step that would change things for them, once for all. “You have Finn.” 

“But you…” Rachel inhaled deeply. She had Finn but she could have Quinn? Could she have Quinn the way she had secretly dreamt of? The way she had secretly craved her for weeks, if not months? 

“It’d be a mistake. We can’t do this to him.” She pulled back enough to press her lips against her forehead. She kissed her forehead to get away from her tempting lips, that were there...so close for her to taste them, like a forbidden fruit she had denied herself with. “It’s not fair to him.”

“But is it fair to us?” Rachel’s hands dropped to the lapels of her jacket. She held onto them, with a grip so tight that she almost tore the fabric apart. 

“I don’t know…” Quinn looked away, sighing softly. “It was the heat of the moment and we got carried away.”

“Bullshit.” She pushed against her chest, loosening her grip around her jacket when she did so. “You’re just running away from this. You’re running away from us.” She felt her own tears prick her eyes. “You’re a coward.” She stared at the blonde, who wasn’t able to meet her eyes any longer. “You’re just a coward, Quinn Fabray.” She opened the passenger door and slipped out of her car, slamming it closed angrily. 

“I’m giving you the chance to be free.” She followed her retreating figure with her eyes before she released a sob herself. What had she done? 

_**To kiss in cars and downtown bars** _

_**Was all we needed** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as usual, comments and thoughts are more than welcome


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your comments, hope you'll like this chapter as much as the rest!

CHAPTER 3

**PART 5**

“Hey.” Quinn found her in the bathroom in front of the auditorium. She had seen her exit the auditorium on her own, being the last to stay behind to rehearse her solo one more time. Always the over achiever. 

“Hello, Quinn.” Rachel met her eyes through the mirror and went back to fix her makeup. She had no time to go home and redo it before her date with Finn. That’s why she had brought a change of clothes with her. Well, an extra change besides the slushy emergency kit.

“Where is he taking you? Breadstix?” Quinn leaned against the sink, back to the mirror and eyes on Rachel, who was obviously ignoring her. “Sounds romantic for someone who just wants in your pants.”

“What do you want, Quinn?” Rachel dropped the eyeliner on the sink and stared back at the blonde. “You made it clear, no need to say it again.” 

“Really? Because it seems you’re ready to give him something just to...just to spite me.” She groaned. 

“Isn’t a little too presumptuous on your end? Like you said, it was the heat of the moment and nothing happened, right?” She looked at her, repeating her exact words. “I have a boyfriend and I am evaluating whether to reach that level of intimacy with him. It has nothing to do with you.” 

“I don’t believe you.” Quinn stood in front of her. “One moment we’re about to kiss and confess our feelings for one another and the next one, you’re giving him your v-card? It can’t be both, Rachel.” 

“Feelings? We never talked about that.” Rachel moved past her but Quinn’s arm slipped around her waist and she found herself backed against the door, with the blonde pressed against her. “Let me go.” 

“If you had a change of heart, I will deal with it.” Quinn looked down into her eyes. “I don’t care if you were just confused or felt sorry for me and that’s why you tried to kiss me. I will deal with it.” She used her other hand to brush her hair back, tucking it behind her left ear. “But I won’t ever be able to forgive myself, if you did this with him because I hurt you. Do it if you really feel sure about it and if you think Finn’s the one deserving to share that with you.” 

“It’s just sex.” Rachel looked away from her. She knew Quinn could read through her lies, but staring at her when saying it was even harder.

“You don’t believe that.” Quinn dropped her arm and took a step back, resting both hands against the door to keep it closed and give them a few more minutes. “You should wait.”

“Why?” Rachel looked back at her. Her hands stayed at her sides, clenched around her own dress even if she wanted to just reach out and hold onto Quinn. She wanted to reach for her and tug her closer, while she waited for Quinn to tell her she was the reason why she should wait. 

“Because it changes everything.” She held her gaze. “You’re putting yourself in someone else’s hands and you’re trusting them to handle you with care. If you trust Finn to be that someone, then go ahead but you’re allowed to change your mind. You can wait.” 

“I should go. He’s waiting.” Rachel looked away, releasing a long sigh. 

“Okay.” Quinn pushed herself off the door and took a few steps back, crossing her arms over her chest. “You can call me, for anything.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Rachel sent her one last glance and then slipped out of the bathroom, after having retrieved her purse. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

Quinn had waited, sitting on her porch. She knew she had no right to be there, but seeing her back home at 11 PM was a good sign, was it? 

“God, why are you here Quinn?” She wiped her cheeks and pushed the key into the lock, grateful her parents were away for another weekend. She didn’t need them to see her like that. 

“You’re crying.” She followed her inside the house, not needing a formal invitation to get in. 

“No shit, Sherlock.” She dropped her purse and coat by the door and locked it. She needed to get a cup of tea and bury herself under the covers, until the next Monday. 

“What did he do? What happened?” Quinn collected her coat from the floor and hung it on the rack, followed by her jacket. “Are you hurt?”

“Physically? No.” Rachel walked into the kitchen and headed straight for the kettle, filling it with water. 

“Rachel, what happened?” Quinn watched her from the doorway. “Did you go through it?” 

“What do you want me to say?” Rachel looked down at the tea bag inside her mug. 

“The truth. Anything.” Quinn straightened, bracing herself for the truth. 

“I couldn’t do it.” Rachel sniffed softly. “We were at his place and he had cooked for us, but he had...he forgot I am vegan.” She reached for a paper tissue to wipe her tears, but Quinn had already offered her handmade handkerchief. It was soft against her skin. 

“What a moron.” She sighed. 

“I couldn’t go through it anymore. He thought everything was fine because we kissed but when he tried to do more, I stopped him.” Rachel finished wiping her tears. “He got so mad.”

“You had every right to change your mind, Rachel. Did he hurt you? ‘Cause if he did, I will-“

“You what? What are you going to do?” She turned towards the blonde. “Why are you even here?”

“You know why I am here.” She looked back at her. 

“No, I don’t.” She pushed against her chest, making her stumble back. “We’ve been doing this the whole summer, Quinn. You come into my room, you sleep with me.” She was almost shouting. “You hold me and tell me about the stars and then...and then you wait for me on my porch and you stare at me that way.”

“Which way?” She stood firm on her feet.

“You can’t do this, Quinn. You can’t keep doing this with me because I cannot think straight anymore.” She said quietly. “I can’t pretend I don’t feel something for you, but you need to stop being around me if you can’t be with me.” 

“Rachel…” Quinn tried to reach out for her, but the brunette got out of the way. 

“I’m serious, Quinn. You know it was not the heat of the moment that night.” She sniffed. “I wanted to kiss you and so you did, but if you don’t want me then just let me go.” 

“Okay.” Quinn nodded dejectedly. “I will give you the space you need.”

“God, I don’t want space.” She shook her head. “I want you! I was with Finn but I could only think of you. I want you, Quinn. Don’t you feel anything for me?” 

“Rach, you don’t need to hear this.” She looked away. “I am just hurting you and you deserve better than this mess I am.” 

“Don’t. Don’t bullshit me with the whole ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech.” She clenched her fists at her sides. 

“I’m sorry, I’ll get out of your hair.” Quinn walked past her and went for the door. 

“You’re a coward. All you can do is run!” Rachel yelled after her. She had heard the door open and when it shut closed, she could only drop against the kitchen counter, crying softly. 

She was still slumped against the counter when soft hands cupped her face, tilting it backwards enough to connect her lips with another pair, that she had only dreamt of. Rachel’s arms circled her waist, holding onto her while their mouths moved slowly, exploring the new feeling with slowness and curiosity.

“I should’ve kissed you that night.” Quinn whispered against her lips. 

“Quinn…” Rachel gripped her dress and tugged her impossibly closer, flattening against the counter behind them. 

“I can’t be with you.” Quinn sighed softly. “I can’t be with you now, because my life is a mess and I can’t drag you down with me.”

“I can be there for you, please…” She leaned up on her tiptoes to crush her mouth against the blonde, who lifted her on the counter with ease. Their lips parted enough for her to nibble on Quinn’s lower lip, tugging at it. 

“I know you can but…” Quinn pushed forward to kiss her harder. Her tongue brushed along her lips and then slipped inside her mouth, caressing Rachel’s slowly. “But I need to work on myself, Rachel. I need to get a grip on my life and be the person you’ll need. You deserve better than my mess.”

“I just need you.” Rachel sucked on her tongue. She sucked on it and tangled her hands in her hair, tilting it from side to side to find a better angle for their mouths. 

“I need you too.” Quinn pulled back, dropping her head against her shoulder. “Give me some time, Rachel.” 

“How much?” Rachel nuzzled her nose against her temple and hugged her to her chest. 

“I don’t know…” Quinn whispered against her chest. 

“I’ll give you time.” She rested her chin against the top of her head and basked in the few more minutes they had together. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“Rachel.” Finn stopped her in the hallways. “Rachel, wait up.”

“What is it, Finn?” She stood in front of her locker, looking inside.

“I wanted to apologize for last night.” He rubbed the back of his head. 

“Which part, Finn? For how you forgot I am vegan after all this time or when you got mad because I had changed my mind?” Rummaging inside the locker, she found the item she was looking for. 

“I thought you had gotten over being a vegan.” He looked at her. 

“Would you get over being a football player, Finn?” She looked at him. 

“No, it is who I am.” He furrowed his brows.

“Being vegan is who I am.” She held the necklace in her fingers and handed him back. “You should take it back.” 

“But...I gave it to you for our anniversary.” He held it between his fingers.”What does this mean, Rachel?” 

“I can’t do this with you anymore, Finn. I can’t be with you.” She shut her locker and looked up at him. “I know this was supposed to be our year but I can’t pretend to be happy and I don’t want to hold you back.” 

“Is there someone else? Who is he?” He slammed his fist against the locker, making everyone turn around and startling the petite singer, who took a step back. 

“I can’t talk to you when you’re like this.” Rachel turned on her heels, marching down the hallway but he caught up with her and took her by the hand, pushing her back against the lockers. “Finn…”

“Who is he? Who are you seeing behind my back?” He held her there and looked down into her eyes. “You promised Rachel...You promised you wouldn’t do this to me again!” He slammed his other fist against the metal lockers, right beside her head. 

“Finn…” Rachel tried to get away from his grip, but he was stronger. 

“Finn, get away from her.” Quinn appeared out of nowhere, managing to push against his side enough to slip in between the two. “What’s wrong with you?” 

“Stay out of this, Quinn.” He regained his footing and towered over the blonde, who held her protective stance in front of Rachel. 

“Walk away, Finn. I’m asking you nicely.” The blonde pushed her hands against his chest, when he tried to advance on them, to reach for Rachel behind her back. “Finn…”

“Don’t touch me!” Grabbing her by the wrists, he slammed her against the opposite row of lockers. He watched the back of her head slam against the metal and heard her groan in pain. 

“Finn, are you crazy?” Rachel ran to the blonde girl’s side and held her up. “Are you okay?” She looked at the taller girl, who nodded and stood on wobbly feet. “We need to get you to the nurse office.” 

“It’s nothing, I’m fine.” She leaned against Rachel, who had her arms wrapped around her waist. “I just need some ice...there’s gonna be a bump.” 

“Rachel...” Finn tried to reach for her, but the brunette held her hand up.

“It’s over Finn.” Rachel shook her head and helped the blonde walk down the hallways towards the nurse office. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“You’re missing Glee.” Quinn was lying on her stomach, hands laced under her chin while a bag of ice was placed against the back of her head. 

“So are you.” Rachel stood by her side, keeping the bag against the newly formed bump. Quinn was right after all. “You keep on getting hurt for me.”

“It’s just a bump, nothing major.” She sighed softly when she felt Rachel’s other hand rest against her back, caressing her scars slowly through the dress she wore. 

“I didn’t think he could react so badly.” Her fingers traced the familiar shape on her back. “You could’ve gotten Sam or Mike.” 

“I could have.” She nodded softly. “But I had to think fast and that was the first thing that came to my mind.” She rested her face sideways against her palms and looked up at Rachel, who was staring down at her. “I couldn’t stay away too much, after all.” 

“But you still need time.” Rachel reached for the stool behind her and sat down, rolling it closer to the bed so she could be at Quinn’s eye level. 

“Two days are not enough to deal with my shit.” Quinn smiled sadly. 

“I know.” Rachel’s hand traced the length of her spine until she reached the side of her neck, to brush her thumb over her pulse. 

“You don’t have to stay with me, you know?” Quinn closed her eyes. She felt so relaxed she could really fall asleep right there. Right on the spot. 

“I want to.” Rachel scooted even closer and rested her forehead against Quinn’s. She closed her eyes and just sat there. 

“Fireworks.” Quinn whispered softly, tilting her head enough to nuzzle Rachel’s nose with hers. 

“What?” Rachel’s eyes opened and focused on the girl lying there. 

“I saw fireworks when I kissed you.” She kept her eyes closed, but a soft knowing smile appeared on her face as she spoke. She felt Rachel’s eyes on hers. 

“It’s what Finn told me when I asked him what he felt after kissing you.” She whispered and pecked her cheek, even though she really wished she could go for her lips. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

_“You’re sure your mother is fine with me being here?” Rachel lifted herself off the water and sat on the edge of the spacious pool, where she had been for most of the afternoon._

_“She’s fine with us hanging out. With my father out of the house, she is back to being her accepting self.” Quinn swam over to her, splashing her with some water. “I feel like a prune.” She lifted her fingers to inspect them, as she stayed afloat._

_“A pink prune.” Rachel kicked some water in her face, earning another splash that drenched her from head to toes, more than she already was._

_“Whatever, Berry.” Quinn lifted herself with ease, showing off the toned muscles of her forearms and upper body. The bikini she had chosen did nothing to hide her flexing abs, that were even more toned than when she used to do sky splits in the air. “When you’re done ogling my abs, will you help me with the sunscreen?” She winked at the brunette, having been caught like a deer in the headlights._

_“Where’s your beer belly?” Rachel followed her to one of the pool chairs and straddled it, facing Quinn’s back, who had lied down with her legs hanging from each side of the chair._

_“Just because I’m drinking more, it doesn’t mean I am being a lazy ass at home.” Lifting her short hair off her neck, she felt Rachel’s hands spread the lotion against her upper back and shoulders. “The pool was built with a clear purpose of using it, you know?”_

_“Smartass.” Rachel’s fingers massaged her tensed muscles, tracing the shape of them with curiosity. “That explains a lot, I guess.”_

_“I could have a future as a lifeguard.” She sat up, straddling the chair with her back to Rachel. “Move to California and save people in my tight red one piece.” She looked over at the brunette, who smacked the back of her head. “Ouch.”_

_“Don’t make fun of my passion for Baywatch.” She put some more lotion on her palms and moved lower, trailing her hands down the girl’s back until she reached the base of her spine, where she felt something under her fingertips. “What’s this?” She let her eyes follow the path her fingers traced, finding a small line running along it._

_“I got it when I was a kid.” Quinn looked down at her hands, resting on her knees._

_“How?” Rachel’s fingers brushed along the scars, tracing imaginary shapes around the tissue that marked Quinn’s perfect skin._

_“My sister and I bugged my Dad to build us a treehouse where we could play together, like the other kids.” She turned slightly to point to the tree in the furthest corner of their spacious backyard. “He was against it at first, but my Mom helped with the negotiations and he eventually caved in. It was beautiful you know?” She smiled softly, remembering those moments. “Frannie and I used to help him. He showed us how to use the hammer and we painted it together.”_

_“Sounds like a beautiful memory.” She kept on caressing it slowly, resting her chin against her shoulder._

_“Frannie and I used to spend days locked away in it. I wasn’t allowed to go there alone, unless she was with me.” Quinn sighed. “Everything changed the summer before her junior year. She had become a cheerleader and she was too old to play tea party with her little chubby sister.”_

_“When you were Lucy, right?” She nodded softly._

_“My Dad wanted to take it down, but I was sort of attached to it, you know? It was special.” She closed her eyes, remembering that afternoon like it was just yesterday. “He was working in his home office and my Mom was at a book club or something like that. He was supposed to check on me, but I knew better than disturbing him when he was working. So, I hid there with a couple of books and my torch light.”_

_“What happened then?” Rachel kept on tracing the offended patch of skin with her fingers. She kept on drawing the same figure over and over. It was calming her. It was also calming Quinn, apparently._

_“I fell asleep. I didn’t want to, but I just fell asleep curled on the floor of that treehouse and I woke up when my Dad was shouting my name.” She took in a deep breath. “I must’ve been half asleep or I was just scared to be punished for being there alone, so I rushed down the ladder and I slipped. I fell from there.” She pointed to an obviously cut branch. “More or less 10 feet. The smaller branches broke the fall, but I got two stuck in my back and that’s a reminder of that.”_

_“He destroyed the treehouse, didn’t he?” Her palm pressed against it._

_“It was gone by the time I got from the hospital and we never mentioned it again.” Quinn stood up and walked up to the tree, with Rachel not too far behind. “I wish he had left it, just for the memories.”_

_“You can always build a new one.” Rachel stood beside her, looking up as well._

_“Maybe, when I’ll have my own kids.” She nodded softly. “Were those stars?”_

_“What?” Rachel looked at her._

_“Were you drawing stars around my scars?” Quinn touched her lower back with her fingers, when Rachel nodded softly. “Thought so.”_

**_You drew stars around my scars_ **

**_But now I'm bleeding_ **

**PART 6**

' **_Cause I knew you_ **

**_Steppin' on the last train_ **

**_Marked me like a bloodstain,_ **

“You’re still here.” Rachel had found her after they had come back from their Sectionals number. She was still clad in her outfit and hadn’t time to change out of it. 

“Not for long. I resigned.” Shelby put her things away in a small cardboard box and looked up at the young version of herself. “What happened was eye opening I guess.”

“That’s funny, if I hadn’t caught you two in the act I wonder how long you’d have let it happen.” Rachel crossed her arms over her chest. “You chose the wrong one to keep around, you know?”

“She gave up on her, I’m her mother.” She rose to her feet. “Beth is my daughter and Quinn should respect that.”

“And you should respect her!” Rachel talked back, raising her voice. “You should give her the same respect you had towards a guy who was never her father. I get it...you’re alone and he was just there and he knew all the right things to say, but he is an 18 years old guy. You trusted him to play daddy with a child he conceived by mistake?”

“And should I trust Quinn with her? She’s trying to get Beth away from me.” She stood up, raising her own voice. 

“You’re Beth’s mother, Shelby. No one will ever take that away from you.” Rachel chuckled. “Are you seriously jealous of Quinn? She only wants a chance to get to know her child.”

“How do you know that? She could go to Figgins and report everything. I could lose my daughter…” She rubbed her arms up and down. 

“And whose fault would that be?” Rachel sighed softly. “This thing will stay among us, no one else needs to know about it.”

“How can you be so sure? She was furious the other night.” Shelby dropped back on her chair. 

“So was I, but it was the heat of the moment. We just found out, what did you expect us to do? Applaud you for your choice? Close our eyes and ignore you slept with a student” She scoffed. “Quinn won’t say anything.”

“Why are you here, Rachel? And why are you talking on her behalf?” Shelby had gotten something when she had come over to talk about Beth that night. She had gotten something stronger when she had been mad after finding out and Quinn had stepped up to defend her. She just saw it now. “What is going on between you and Quinn, Rachel?” 

“Nothing is going on. We’re just friends...kind of.” She didn’t know what they really were. They used to be friends but now? They were just standing in a limbo where they were nothing but they could be everything. 

“You have feelings for her, don’t you?” Shelby softened. How could she have missed it? “I’m going back to New York.” 

“I think it’s the right thing to do.” Rachel nodded softly. “For everyone.” 

“I’m sorry.” Shelby took a tentative step and rested her hands on her slumped shoulders. “I was so worried about them, that I forgot what it’d mean to you.”

“It’s fine. I didn’t do this for myself.” She looked up at the woman who had given birth to her. 

“I know. You did it for her.” Shelby nodded behind the brunette’s shoulder, towards a silent blonde that had witnessed most of the exchange. “I’ll see you in New York, Rachel.” She squeezed her shoulders and retrieved her box and purse, walking out of the door under Quinn’s attentive gaze. 

“How much did you hear?” Rachel said softly, without turning back. She knew Quinn had heard her. 

“How do you feel?” Quinn leaned against the doorway, with her arms wrapped around her chest. 

“I don’t know…” Rachel sniffed softly, wiping a lone and angry tear away. She didn’t want to cry for Shelby. She didn’t want to cry for Quinn. “Why are you here? To talk to Figgins?”

“I am here for you.” Quinn took a step forward and reached out with her hand, wanting to touch her and pull her in her arms but she couldn’t. Not yet. “You’re the reason why I chose to give Beth up for adoption.” She dropped her hand. “After seeing how well you turned out to be, I knew that she could have never had that with me there. Letting her go was the best thing I could do.”

“You’re wrong.” Rachel turned to stare at her not realizing how close they were, until she was almost pressed up into Quinn. She could almost feel her heartbeat. “She would’ve had that future with you too, but what about yours? What would have been the best thing for you?” 

“It wouldn’t have mattered.” Quinn stared down in her eyes. “But you can’t change your past, can you?” She moved her arms enough to brush the back of her knuckles against Rachel’s. 

“No, but you can let go and start your future.” Rachel’s fingers slipped through hers, like pieces of the same puzzle. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“Rachel, hon, can you come here please?” Hiram called from the front door, pulling her from her winter holidays’ routine. Despite being a Christian holiday, she totally benefited from spending 2 weeks in her PJ, sweaters with vegan hot chocolate mugs in front of her. 

“What’s up, Dad?” Rachel stopped in the archway that separated the living room from the foyer, when her eyes fell on a familiar blonde standing there. “Quinn?”

“I believe Miss Fabray is here to see you.” Hiram looked between the two girls. “I’ll leave you alone.” He winked at his daughter and then disappeared down the hallways, where his home office was. 

“Hi. I’m sorry I came here unannounced.” She reached in the bag at her feet and handed her a relatively small box, wrapped in elegant red and golden paper, with a green ribbon on top of it. “I was in the neighbourhood and I thought it could be a good moment to deliver your gift.”

“Christmas is in two days.” She took it and looked at the blonde, who had a soft smile. 

“I know, but today is the last day of Hanukkah, right?” Quinn’s hands slipped inside the pockets of her blue coat. “You don’t have to open it now.”

“I want to.” Rachel undid the knot that kept the ribbon together and then got to the paper, carefully peeling the scotch tape without tearing it in thousands pieces. She set the paper aside and opened the box, revealing a pocket watch that looked expensive. 

“It was my great-grand father’s.” She took a step forward and reached for it, turning it around. “I had it polished and engraved.” She opened the lid to reveal three familiar letters - R B B - engraved in pure silver. 

“I can’t accept this, Quinn.” Rachel looked up at the blonde, who stood so close. She stood so close that she could feel her warmth and smell her familiar perfume. The lingering scent of cigarettes was no longer there and Rachel could take in her full scent. Her original scent that was still burnt in her memory, despite her fears to have forgotten about it. 

“Of course, you can.” She looked down at their hands, closed together around the watch. “Do you want me to set it up for you?” 

“Show me?” Rachel looked up into her eyes. She was so close to lean in and just taste what was supposed to be hers. She was so close. 

“First, we set up the time.” She guided Rachel’s hand to the crown and pulled it out, before rotating it slowly clockwise until the hands moved on the face. “What time is it?” 

“It’s…” Rachel found it hard to stare away from Quinn’s face. In that moment, she came to realize she had fallen for her. With such a simple gesture, her heart became Quinn’s. “11:30.” She cleared her throat, when she saw Quinn was waiting on her. 

“Okay.” She turned it enough to mark that time and then pushed the crown back in place. 

“Now?” Rachel looked down at the clock but it wasn’t working yet. 

“Now, we rotate this crown until it stops.” She let Rachel’s fingers wrap around it and moved them slowly. 

“It’s working.” Rachel squealed when the clock came to life, ticking away slowly between them. 

“Great.” Quinn pulled her hand back. “You’re all set.” 

“Why a clock?” Rachel slipped the clock in the pocket of her hoodie and looked up at the blonde, who was looking anywhere but at her.

“ _Love is begun by time and time qualifies the spark and fire of it_.” Quinn’s hands slipped inside the pockets of her coat, to avoid reaching out for the brunette in front of her. She was so close and tempting, but she had to resist. She was clearing the mess in her life to get ready for Rachel. To be what Rachel needed by her side. 

“That’s the Hamlet.” Rachel set the clock down and took a bold step forward, slipping her hands inside the pockets of her coat to take her hands in hers. 

“I knew you’d get it.” Quinn smiled softly and squeezed her hands. If it was hidden from the plain sight, so they could do it right? They were holding hands hidden from everyone else. “I should go, I’m supposed to pick the last things for dinner tonight.” 

“Okay.” Rachel pulled her hands back and wrapped her arms around herself. 

“Happy Hanukkah, Rachel.” Quinn leaned down to drop a soft kiss against her cheek, lingering enough to feel her sigh happily in her ear. 

“Merry Xmas, Quinn.” Rachel kept her hands under her armpits. She kept them there, not to reach out and guide her lips on hers. Not to lead Quinn up to her room and forget about the agreement between them, to do ungodly things to her. 

“A bit more, I promise.” Quinn bumped her forehead against the side of her head and then pulled back, heading for the door. She opened it and threw one last smile at her, over her shoulder. It was a smile that held a promise that she was going to keep. A promise to come back to her and, this time, to stay. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

_She had never met Judy Fabray before, well not officially anyway. She had seen her attend their Sectionals competition and she had seen her when Quinn had gone into labor, but she had never been face to face with her. She reminded her of Quinn somehow, but, at the same time, she did not. There was something in her eyes that she hoped never to see in Quinn’s, not now or even when they got older._

_“Good afternoon Mrs. Fabray, I’m supposed to meet up with Quinn.” She shifted from one foot to another, under the woman’s porch. She should’ve worn something better than her simple summer dress over her bikini. She should’ve gone for her new sandals - the uncomfortable ones - instead of her neon pink flip flops that matched her bikini._

_“You’re Rachel, right?” The older blonder had a Martini glass in her hand and, for some odd reason, Rachel knew it wasn’t the first of the day._

_“Yes, Mrs. Fabray. My name is Rachel Barbra Berry.” She was let inside. “We share most of our classes.”_

_“Berry. Why does that ring a bell?” She sipped slowly and studied her. She was not even hiding her inquisitive glare._

_“She’s the captain of Glee club, Mom.” Quinn’s voice came from behind them. It was right in time to save her from some uncomfortable conversation with her mother. “You used to attend McKinley with Leroy Berry?”_

_“Oh, Leroy. How’s your Father doing, dear?” Judy nodded enthusiastically. Maybe too enthusiastically to be spontaneous._

_“He’s doing well, ma’am. He’s currently in New York for a medical convention with my Dad.” She looked at Quinn, who was casually leaning against the doorway that led to the living room and then to the pool, clad in her turquoise bikini and matching shorts._

_“And you’re all alone? Quinnie, why didn’t you ask her to stay over?” She finished her drink. “You can take Francine’s old room or the guest room or bunk with Quinn. Your choice.”_

_“I don’t want to intrude, Mrs. Fabray. I can take care of myself.” She looked at the pink haired girl, who just grinned silently. She had no intentions to help her out of that._

_“Nonsense. You’re staying over until your Fathers are back. I won’t take no for an answer.” Judy turned on her heels and marched back to the kitchen, probably to get a refill._

_“Thanks for the help, Quinn.” Rachel sighed and walked to the taller girl._

_“You’re welcome.” She smirked, earning a slap against her forearm. “What? I can’t really go against her when she’s like that. It’s one of her good days.” She looked over at where the older woman had disappeared to with a longing glance._

_“Good days?” Rachel followed her eyes, catching a glimpse of Judy Fabray pouring herself a new glass._

_“She’s been drinking a lot since the divorce.” Quinn sighed softly. “Most days she passes out on the couch after she gets home from work.” Shrugging, she headed for the pool. It’s why Rachel had come over, after all._

_“That’s why she hasn’t said anything about your punk look. She’s too drunk?” Rachel dropped her summer dress on one of the pool chairs and kicked her flip flops to the side._

_“She made a comment or two, but she doesn’t really care much. She’s not like my Dad.” Quinn dropped on one of the chairs and took a cigarette out, lighting it up. “I don’t know whether to wish she cared, though.”_

_“Have you seen him lately?” Rachel sat beside her. Her hand couldn’t help but be drawn to the familiar scar at the bottom of her spine. It was probably her favorite spot to trace with her fingers, whenever she needed Quinn to relax as she opened up to her._

_“Yeah, I ran into him at the grocery store. He pretended I wasn’t even there.” She exhaled the smoke out of her nostrils. “But he saw me and if we had been alone, he would’ve approached me for sure.”_

_“Was he with someone else?” She brushed her fingers along the length of her scar._

_“His new girlfriend. A tattoo freak with a hairstyle worse than mine.” She chuckled, flicking the cigarette away._

_“I like your hair.” She moved her hand to the wild mane, running her fingers through it._

_“I know. You and Brittany only, probably.” She reached for her hand, holding it from messing her hair even more than usual_

_“You don’t like it? Why did you do it?” Rachel’s fingers laced with Quinn’s._

_“I can count the things I like about myself on one hand, Rach.” She dropped their hands and stood up. She walked to the edge of the pool and just jumped head first into it._

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“So, what’s the deal with you and the Hobbit?” Santana sat beside her, on the top row behind everyone where they could watch the objects of their affection sing and dance by the piano.

“Stop calling her like that, San.” Quinn gritted her teeth. 

“Dwarf? Man-Hands? RuPaul?” She smirked when she saw the blonde’s fists clench hard on her knees. “Alright, She Hulk. What’s going on with Berry?”

“She Hulk? Since when you’re into comics?” Quinn sent her a sideways glance. 

“Brittany is into roleplays and...you don’t want to hear that, prude.” Santana crossed her arms over her chest. “So, you two boned yet? Is it because of you that Berry gave Finnept blue balls?”

“Must you be so crass?” Quinn leaned forward, watching Brittany twirl Rachel around in a trivial dance. “Nothing is going on.”

“Yet.” Santana mimicked her stance, hands under her chin. “You totally want in her pants, it’s been a while now.”

“I don’t just want that, San.” Sighing, she looked at the brunette with a soft smile. 

“God, you’re disgustingly whipped. You’re that into her without even scoring a homerun with her?” She snorted. “You’re such a virgin.” 

“Who had a baby.” Quinn looked at her. 

“You don’t even remember that, Q. You should’ve let me kick his ass for that.” She threw a sideway glance to the mohawk boy sitting two rows down. “Or let my Father handle it.”

“It’s going to be easier to think it’ll be a first time for both of us, then.” Quinn followed Rachel with her eyes. 

“So, why haven’t you tapped that yet? What’s holding you back?” Santana caught the glance Rachel had thrown their way. Well, Quinn’s way. “She isn’t sure of her feelings?”

“My life is a mess, Santana. Rachel can't be distracted because I am a fuckup. She has too much waiting for her.” Resting her elbows on the back of the chair in front of her, she propped her chin over her hands. 

“And I am sure she disagrees with that.” Santana leaned back in the chair and crossed her legs one over the other. “So, you’re wasting these months together being apart...until when?”

“I am turning my life around, San. I am really trying here.” She sighed and looked over at her friend. “But I can’t do it alone.”

“What do you need me to do?” The Latina leaned forward, staring at the blonde. 

“I need to be back on the Cheerios.” She watched the uncertainty cross Santana’s face. “I don’t care about being the Captain, San. You can keep it and I’ll be your Vice Captain, but I need it to have another chance to get out of here.” She looked back at Rachel, sitting on the piano. “She is going to leave this place.” 

“And you need to go after her.” She nodded in understanding. “I will have a chat with Coach Sylvester. Ok?”

“You’re the best, San.” She squeezed her hand. 

“She better be worthy of all this, Quinn.” She looked at the petite brunette who had finished singing. 

“She is. I know that she is.” She smiled at Rachel across the room. She had caught her secret smile and just rewarded her with one of her own. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

It was Rachel’s time to drop on her doorstep unannounced. She stood under the porch of Fabray's residence and waited, having rung the doorbell twice already. She had seen Quinn’s car parked in the driveway, but maybe she was not home? She tried one last time and was about to turn around when the door swung open, revealing a disheveled blonde who had just jumped out of bed. 

“Rachel…” She said almost out of breath. “Did something happen?” 

“Hey, did I wake you up?” She stepped in when the blonde moved aside and welcomed her inside the house. 

“Yeah, I must’ve dozed off. I had an early wake up call.” She couldn’t resist yawning loudly, making the brunette chuckle in amusement. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine, you look exhausted. Where have you been for the last couple of days?” She hung her coat and followed the blonde in her spacious kitchen. “You missed Valentine’s Day celebrations.” 

“I really don’t mind having missed Finn trying to get you back.” She poured herself a mug of coffee and got another for the brunette. “I had to go out of town with my Mom.” 

“Is everything alright?” She took the offered mug and took a tentative sip to check the temperature and avoid any 2nd degree burn on her tongue. 

“Hopefully, yes.” Leaning against the counter, she held the mug with her hands and sipped slowly. “What else did I miss?”

“I brought my notes for English and AP Chemistry, even if I have trouble following Miss Hollisters lately. She’s speaking a foreign language to me.” She leaned against the opposite counter and stared at the blonde, who smiled over the rim of her mug. “Don’t be smug, Quinn.”

“Oh, c’mon. It’s somehow funny, but I can help you with that.” Quinn set her mug down. “Do we have a setlist for Regionals?”

“Despite Mr. Schue’s attempts to sabotage my ideas, yeah. Mercedes and I worked on it and it sounds good.” She did the same with her mug and reached in her bag, setting the piece of paper on the counter for Quinn to see. 

“Mr. Schue is useful like an ice cube in winter.” Quinn stood behind her and looked down at the notes in front of her. Her hands held onto the counter, each side of Rachel’s waist, while her front brushed against the brunette’s back. She kept reading over the girl’s shoulder and it was just driving Rachel crazy. “It’s good. I like the songs. This is your solo?” She pointed to the second song. 

“What?” Rachel was distracted by feeling Quinn press up into her. She was distracted by her warmth surrounding her. She was distracted by Quinn being simply Quinn. 

“This.” She chuckled and tapped the table by the title of the second song. “You’ll sing a solo?” 

“Yeah and then we finish with a group number.” Rachel turned around in her arms and looked up at the blonde, who had taken a step back to look down at her. 

“I like it. We could win.” She gripped the counter a little tighter. She had almost forgotten what Rachel made her feel like. She had been so focused on her personal matters that she had forgotten how good she felt, whenever Rachel was there with her. 

“Quinn, I need to know when…” Rachel’s hands trailed along her sides to land on her hips. She gripped them with her palms and stepped up into her personal space, tucking her head in her neck with ease. With her heels and Quinn being barefoot, their height difference had been reduced visibly. 

“Regionals.” Quinn’s arms circled her head from behind and her mouth pressed a kiss below her ear, where the hair had moved to expose her bronzed skin. “After Regionals.” 

“Really?” She pressed more into the blonde. Her hands had slipped under the hem of her shirt to caress the skin of her lower back. She was caressing the scars that belonged to Quinn but also to her, almost as much. It was her spot. 

“Yes. After we win, you and I will be together.” She nuzzled her nose along her neck, breathing in. She needed just a little more time and then she could be Rachel’s. She could be everything Rachel needed her to be and they could finally get it right. 

**_I knew you_ **

**_Tried to change the ending_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments? thoughts?


	4. Chapter 4

Enjoy!

CHAPTER 4

**PART 7**

**_But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss_ **

**_I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs_ **

**_The smell of smoke would hang around this long_ **

_“Where’s your sister?” Rachel was sitting on the hood of her car, licking the vegan chocolate ice-cream off her cone._

_“Some resort in Mexico, last I heard.” Quinn was doing the same with her own cone. She had eaten all the coconut and was attacking her strawberry part._

_“You’re not in touch?” Rachel tilted the cone to catch the chocolate dripping from the other side. It was hot for Lima and the ice-cream was melting quicker than she had expected. She should’ve gone for a cup._

_“Frannie and I had a complicated relationship. She was everything I wanted to become. She was very blonde, beautiful, slim and athletic. Head Cheerleader, President of the Celibacy club and graduating with honors.” She bit into the cone, munching away slowly. “She got into Dartmouth and it’s where my family is supposed to go, you know? My Grandfather, my father, my uncle and all my cousins went to Dartmouth.”_

_“I never realized how much pressure you were under.” Rachel felt the chocolate drip on her leg but before it trickled down on the car, Quinn’s fingers wiped it for her._

_“I wasn’t a natural athlete. I never wanted to be like my sister but when you’re a Fabray, it doesn’t really matter what you want.” She finished her cone and wiped her mouth the best she could, with her small napkin. “I couldn’t be Lucy, I had to be like Frannie and the closest thing was becoming Quinn. So I admired her but I hated her because she was everything I was not.”_

_“Can I see her?” Rachel reached with her thumb to wipe the strawberry off the corner of Quinn’s lips. She caressed her skin so softly, that Quinn felt her heart tighten in her chest and her stomach twist. It was a touch so soft that she wondered if it was a figment of her imagination. “Can I see Lucy?”_

_“Of course.” She reached for her wallet and produced two pictures, from her past. She had gotten it back from Finn, after their breakup, and the other...well the other had always been stored away under her bed, where she kept her memories of who she used to be. When she didn’t like her outside, but she didn’t loathe herself from the inside._

_“You were beautiful.” Rachel traced the picture with her fingers. “If you had stayed Lucy, maybe we would’ve been friends sooner. Don’t you think?”_

_“Probably, I would have deserved your friendship.” She took the pictures back and slipped the wallet back inside the backpocket of her ripped jeans._

_“You still don’t think you deserve this?” Rachel looked at the pink haired girl. “We did bad things to each other, Quinn. You can’t keep on punishing yourself for things that happened months ago. We learnt from our mistakes.”_

_“I bullied you, how could have you forgiven me for it?” Quinn looked at her. “I wish I could go back and stop myself from doing it.”_

_“That’s why I forgave you. You know it was a mistake and you’ve become someone better since then.” Rachel’s hand rested on her knee. “You did things for me, Quinn. You did things that I could never forget.”_

_“What things?” She covered her hand with her own, lacing their fingers together._

_“I know you asked Coach Sylvester to give us a yearbook page.” She held Quinn’s hand there, when she felt her tense upon hearing her revelation. “You stopped the slushie showers and the bullying.” She used her other hand to tilt Quinn’s head upwards, by her chin. “You tried to send me on my way, by keeping Finn with you.”_

_“It really didn’t work out, did it?” She chuckled sadly._

_“I appreciate you trying though.” Rachel leaned in to kiss her cheek softly. “We should find a sink or some water, my hands are sticky.”_

_“That’s because you can’t eat your cone without making a mess.” She chuckled and slipped off the car, before helping Rachel down._

_“You should find a mirror, Fabray.” She pushed against the ex-blonde’s shoulder and rounded the car to slip in the passenger seat._

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“God, what’s taking them so long?” Finn paced back and forth in the waiting room they had assigned them to. 

“It’s a good sign, isn’t it?” Mercedes looked at Mr. Schue for support but the man was lost in his own thoughts and had retreated to a far corner of the room. 

“Not necessarily. They can’t decide who was the worst.” Puck shrugged from his seat, perched on the arm of the couch with a guitar in his hands. 

“Or the best. Why do you have to be so pessimistic, dude?” Sam replied from the other side, almost growling. 

“Because I’m no stupid. We were good but not enough...did you see what that Sebastian dude did? He had guys and girls’ pants off.” He barked back, standing to his feet to go head to head with the blonde guy. 

“Stop it! Both of you!” Mercedes stepped in between them and pushed Puck back to his seat, before tugging her boyfriend away from an useless fight. “Rachel, what do you think?” She looked at the petite girl, who was leaning against the wall and had her eyes set on a familiar blonde standing on the balcony, with her back to them. “Rachel?” 

“Drop it, Jones. She’s not with us.” Santana smirked knowingly. She watched the brunette cross the room and slip out of the open window, to join the taller blonde on the balcony. 

“Okay, what did I miss?” Kurt looked at Santana and then at the two silhouettes, standing together. 

“What was all that fuss about?” Quinn exhaled slowly, the smoke coming out of her nose mixed with her breath, creating a thicker cloud around them. 

“They’re just losing their patience.” Rachel leaned against the balcony beside her and looked down. “I think they also caught something between us.”

“No shit, Sherlock.” She smirked. She knew Rachel had gotten her borrowed quote. “What should we do about that?” 

“Honestly? I could give less fucks about what they think or say.” Her honesty was so brutal that Quinn felt a little proud. She wondered if her own attitude had rubbed off on her, in a good way. 

“Do you kiss your fathers with that potty mouth, Miss Berry?” She killed the cigarette on the concrete wall beside the railing where they were leaning on. 

“No, but I’ll use it to kiss you after we’re done with this.” Rachel looked at her with a smirk. 

“I want to see you try.” Quinn smirked back at her and reached out with her hand, to tuck her hair back behind her gold headband. “I hope they call us soon, I feel naked under all those eyes watching us.” 

“Let them watch.” She held her hand against her cheek and stared back into her eyes. She felt like the rest of the world could simply fade away when she looked into Quinn’s eyes. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

**“** Face it, Quinn is not coming.” Santana said from the armchair, where she was perched up beside Brittany. 

“She said she’d be here.” Rachel looked down at her phone. Why did they have to throw an impromptu party to celebrate their winning performance? All she wanted was to be with Quinn and only Quinn. 

“Where is she then?” The Latina shrugged and reached for another beer, twisting it open with her bare hand. 

“She had to drop home…” Rachel dropped beside Brittany and stared at her silent phone. They had all pretty much headed straight to Mike’s place, taking advantage of his folks’ absence. Puck had provided them with all the alcohol they needed and here they were, dancing away into the evening and drinking cheap beer and vodka. 

“Rachel...can we talk?” Finn stood in front of her. 

“I don’t think it’s a good moment, Finn.” Rachel stood and walked away from all the loud music and Santana’s words. Where the hell was Quinn? They had waited so much for this moment and now? Had she changed her mind about it? Was she taking the easy way out of it? 

“5 minutes. Please.” He followed her around the house, until they reached the kitchen. It was silent enough, for it being so close to the living room.

“What is it, Finn?” She set her phone down and looked up at the taller guy. 

“When did it happen?” He nodded to the phone.

“There wasn’t a moment, Finn. We spent the whole summer together, as friends, and I think we gradually developed feelings for each other. It just happened.” She closed her eyes and for a moment she saw all the moments they had spent together. All the glares and words. All the gentle touches and secrets whispered in the dark. She saw everything that had led her there. That had led her to fall for Quinn. 

“Why did you get back with me, if you were into her?” He nodded sadly. 

“I didn’t mean to lead you on. She confused me so much but I thought it was just a temporary crush. I think I always crushed on her, even when we fought over you.” She knew she had hurt him, but they were never meant to be after all. They were supposed to part ways once they were off to college. 

“Does she feel the same?” His hands held onto the counter, gripping it tight enough to feel the knuckles ache. 

“Yes. she does.” She looked down at her phone. There was a small ounce of doubt in the back of her mind, but she couldn’t tell Finn. She couldn’t give him a false hope. She’d never go back to him after this. After Quinn. 

“Why didn’t you say anything about you two dating? Why go behind everyone’s back?” He didn’t like secrets, but it seemed he was always going to be involved in some sort of web of lies when it came to Rachel and, of course, Quinn. It was a triangle that he had brought on himself but, in the end, he had chased two girls and lost the one. 

“We’re not dating.” Rachel unlocked her phone to send her a text. “I needed time after our breakup and Quinn needed some time to…”

“To fix her shit?” He chuckled sarcastically. “Wonder how long it’ll take for you to see she’s not worthy. We all did, eventually.”

“We’re done here, Finn.” Rachel grabbed her phone and sent her a quick text about her whereabouts. She was mad at Finn for doubting Quinn. She was mad at Quinn for not having kept the promise they had made to each other. She was mad at herself for being so affected and they were not even dating. 

“She’ll break your heart, Rachel. She always does.” Finn followed her as she took her coat and purse, ready to leave. “She’s already hurting you, isn’t she?” He didn’t get any reply besides a door shut in his face.

**_'Cause I knew everything when I was young_ **

**_I knew I'd curse you for the longest time_ **

**_Chasing shadows in the grocery line_ **

**PART 8**

**_Tw: mention of abuse_ **

**_I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired_ **

**_And you'd be standing in my front porch light_ **

She had been home for 30 minutes when she heard the familiar sound of a car pulling up in front of her curb and then, a knock on her door. She was still mad enough that her first thought was to slap some sense into the blonde girl, but when she opened the door, her intentions changed completely. Quinn was still wearing her Glee costume, like she had worn it during the party, but it had been ripped in different parts and her perfect face had been marked, once again. 

“Quinn...what happened to you?” Rachel reached out, almost scared to cause more harm to the beauty in front of her. 

“I should’ve paid more attention to all those PSAs about texting and driving…” Quinn limped towards her and held onto the doorway, not to put too much weight on her left leg. The gash on her calf was still hurting like hell, despite the painkillers and the bandage.

“You got into a car accident? Why didn’t you call me?” Rachel snapped out of her daze and wrapped her arm around her waist, helping her inside the house and onto the couch, where she could be more comfortable. 

“I lost my phone somewhere in the car and I was allowed to make one emergency call.” Her head rested against the back of the couch. She was fighting the urge to throw up all over the place because of the pain she felt all over. 

“You should’ve spent the night at the hospital. Are you crazy?” Rachel sat beside her and hovered her, not knowing where it was safe to touch her and where it was not. It felt like she was hurting all over.

“I just bruise easily.” Quinn managed to smile despite the pain. Her eyes focused on the brunette who was obviously panicking in front of her. “I’m sorry I missed the party…”

“Are you kidding me? You almost got killed because of that stupid party.” Rachel’s hand carefully rested against the side of her neck, stroking the skin of her jawline ever so lightly. “I was texting you. If I had known you were driving…”

“It’s not your fault. I was lucky.” Quinn sat a little straighter and reached with her good arm, her right one, for the brunette. “Come here.” 

“I don’t want to hurt you.” Rachel tentatively rested her head sideways against the blonde’s shoulder and took in a deep breath. “I shouldn’t have texted you.” 

“I shouldn’t have texted you back while driving.” Quinn’s lips found her forehead. “I was fast enough to push down onto my brakes, but a car came from the left and hit me anyway.” 

“What did the doctors say? They shouldn’t have you discharged you so quickly.” Her hand trailed slowly along her side. Her fingers found the bandage wrapped around her ribs, under the dress that had ripped in multiple parts. 

“They put my shoulder back and cleaned my wound, stitching me up. Nothing too deep, no head injury and the bones are all fine.” Quinn stretched her leg on the coffee table, mindful to keep her foot dangling off the edge. “You’ll just have more scars to draw around, after this.” She chuckled.

“How can you joke about this?” Rachel tilted her head upwards to nuzzle her nose along her cheek. “I thought you had changed your mind about this.” 

“Never. Nothing could ever make me change my mind about us.” Quinn’s face nuzzled against hers. “Nothing can keep me away from you.” Her lips brushed over her ear, breathing slowly against it while her hand stroked along her upper shoulder. “I called my Mom and I came here as soon as they let me out.”

“I could’ve picked you up.” Rachel nuzzled more into the blonde, who just held her a little tighter. “Was your Mom fine with dropping you here?”

“My Mom is in rehab, Rachel.” She kissed the skin below her ear. “I told you I was fixing my life, didn’t I?”

“Rehab? Since when?” Rachel pulled to look at the blonde. 

“Remember when I missed school around Valentine’s Day?” Quinn winced when her movement caused her ribs to flex. “I convinced her to get help and she's been in rehab in Columbus since then. I am supposed to bring her home in two weeks but…” She gestured to the situation she was in. 

“You should’ve told me, Quinn. I could’ve been there for you.” Rachel’s palm cupped her face, mindful not to touch the bandage below her left eye. “I’ll stay with you until your Mom is back and can take care of you.” 

“Rachel, you can’t. What will your parents say?” She sighed when her fingers brushed gently over her cut. She felt no pain when Rachel caressed her so tenderly. 

“Then you come stay with us. The second guest room is downstairs and you won’t have to put unnecessary pressure on your leg.” She leaned in to drop a butterfly kiss on her lips. “I won’t take no for an answer.” 

“You sound like my mother.” Quinn groaned and nodded softly. She had no other choice, really. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“Are you stupid, Quinn? Really?” Rachel stormed inside the empty house, thankful her parents were working late once again. “You’re recovering from a car accident, do you understand that?”

“Yes, I am aware.” She hopped after the brunette, closing the door behind her with her hand. “But I can’t miss practice altogether. I might not be able to get on the pyramid, but I can help my team.” 

“Your team needs you in full shape. You’re going to injure yourself and end up ruining your chances to do this in the future. Don’t you get it?” Rachel stood in front of her, arms crossed over her chest. 

“You don’t get it, Rachel. But how could you? Do you even know what being a team player means?” She snapped back, realizing she had definitely crossed a line due to her anger. 

“Thanks for reminding me of that, Quinn.” Rachel turned on her heels and stormed upstairs, not wanting to show the blonde how much she had been hurt by her comment. She stayed hidden in her room, crying in her pillow for what felt like hours. She hadn’t meant to patronize the blonde. She was merely worried that any wrong movement, caused by Coach Sylvester’s suicidal methods, ended up hurting her even more. 

“Rachel…” Quinn’s voice came from the doorway. It was more like a breathless whisper, mixed with the fatigue of having walked up the stairs with the crutches. 

“Quinn, you shouldn’t be here.” She sat up and wiped her cheeks with her sweater. 

“It was easier to be thought of than done.” She moved slowly towards the other side of the bed and lowered herself on her back, releasing a deep breath that she didn’t know she was even holding. 

“Do you want your painkillers?” Rachel sniffed and reached for the pills on her nightstand, but the blonde stopped her and tugged her down. “Quinn…”

“Lie with me.” Quinn lifted her good arm and slipped it around Rachel, who simply curled on herself and rested her head across her chest, mindful not to put too much pressure on her other shoulder. “I’m sorry.” 

“Me too.” She gripped the front of her uniform and nuzzled the WHMS logo. 

“It’s frustrating.” Quinn’s hand slipped up and down her back, stroking it slowly as she let her sore body relax on the comfortable mattress. “There’s so much I want to do and I can’t, because of this.” She pointed to her left leg. 

“You can’t rush your recovery. Cheerios will be there when you’re back on your feet. You have time before Nationals.” She angled herself to rest her head against Quinn’s shoulder and look up at her. “So will Glee.” 

“I am not talking about that. Not just about that, at least.” Quinn lifted her other hand with a slight groan, but she still reached for her face and brushed the hair away from her cheek. “I planned to take you out on a date and kiss you.”

“We can have indoor date nights.” Rachel raised herself enough to roll on her stomach, hovering the blonde. “You can still kiss me, whenever you want.” She leaned down to brush her lips over Quinn’s, who just dropped her arms around her waist. 

“Not when your parents are around.” She stretched her neck enough to meet Rachel’s lips with hers. Their mouths moved slowly and superficially. It was not a deep kiss. It was deliberately slow and tender, like a real first kiss. 

“They’re not around now.” Rachel’s tongue traced the contour of Quinn’s lips and then dipped in, tracing the front of her perfect teeth. 

“Good.” Quinn’s mouth disclosed under her touch and her tongue came out, to meet Rachel’s halfway. It was a tentative touch of the tips. It was a tentative way to initiate a deeper kiss that was still slow and languid. They had time to kiss without rushing it. They had finally all the time to get to know each other’s savour and texture. 

“Do you still see the fireworks?” Rachel pulled back when oxygen had started becoming an issue for both. Despite her vocal training, kissing Quinn rendered her breathless. 

“It feels like it’s the 4th of July in my head.” Quinn’s good hand rested against the back of her neck, lost in her chestnut locks. 

“Smooth talker.” Rachel blushed and hid her face against the side of her neck, breathing in. 

“You asked.” Quinn’s arm circled her head and held her there, against her. She let her weight drop against her good side, needing to feel the length of her body weigh her down. She needed to feel it was real and they were really there, together. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“Hey, what are you doing here?” Quinn was sitting with her left leg stretched out in front of her on the bench in the Cheerio locker room. 

“I am supposed to drive you home.” Rachel leaned against the door and looked around. “It doesn’t smell bad.”

“We are girls, Rach. We take care of ourselves.” She smirked softly and held her hand out. “Come sit with me.”

“You’re sure I’m not breaking any Sue Sylvester’s law.” She walked forward and took her hand, straddling the bench in front of Quinn. “I don’t want to get you in trouble.”

“She’s off somewhere, plotting some revenge against Glee club.” Shrugging she tugged the brunette closer and slipped her arms around her waist, pressing their fronts together. “Hi.” Leaning forward, she brushed her lips against the brunette’s, who relaxed once she was in her arms. 

“Hi.” Rachel’s fingers locked behind her neck, caressing the baby hair at the base of it while their mouths slowly moved together. Her foot locked around Quinn’s ankle, allowing her to scoot forward until their bare knees touched. 

“Hi.” Quinn’s lips trailed down her jawline, peppering it slowly. Her hands dropped from her hips to trace the length of her thighs and simply lifted them over her own, tugging her forward until there was no space left between their bodies. 

“We shouldn’t be doing this here.” Rachel’s head was thrown back in pleasure. With each kiss against her pulse, she couldn’t help but roll her hips forward and into the blonde in front of her.

“I know.” Quinn nipped a little harder and soothed the same patch with her tongue. She couldn’t have enough of Rachel’s taste. 

“We should stop.” Her fingers shifted to cup her jaw and bring her mouth back onto hers. With another roll, she shifted fully in Quinn’s lap. Her hips rolled down into the blonde and she could feel the heat coming from her brush against her own, despite the skirts and the underwear they both were wearing. 

“We totally should.” Quinn moaned in her lips. One moment she was holding Rachel by the hips, the other she had her hands under the edges of her skirt, scratching along the firm thighs wrapped around her waist. 

“I wish…” Rachel’s forehead dropped against hers. She panted hard when she felt Quinn’s fingertips trace the edge of her panties, soaked for sure. She held her breath when Quinn’s hands slipped behind her to grab onto her backside, supporting her weight with both hands. 

“Not here.” Quinn leaned in to kiss her softly. “It won’t happen here.” She nibbled on her pouty lip. “Not the first time, at least.” 

“I don’t care where…” Rachel pushed her mouth against the blonde. “I just want it with you.” She sighed when Quinn’s hands squeezed her backside. She hadn’t ever let Finn get so far and in so little time. 

“You do?” She looked up into her eyes, holding her breath this time. 

“Yes. I want you to be my first.” Rachel’s hands stroked her cheeks. Her thumb brushed on the fading bruise under her eye. 

“You’re sure, Rachel? It’s a huge step.” Quinn had imagined what being with Rachel would feel like. She had fantasized about it, but it seemed Rachel was Finn’s and she had no chances at all. 

“I know…” She read the uncertainty in her eyes. “Unless you don’t want me?” She looked down. 

“I wanted you for so long.” Quinn’s nose nuzzled along her cheek and then down to the skin below her ear. “I still want you so badly.” 

“Really?” Rachel closed her eyes. Why weren’t they in her room where they could keep doing this without clothes? 

“Cross my heart.” She kissed her ear and squeezed her backside once more, before crushing their mouths together for another kiss 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“Do you want to watch another one?” Quinn paused the movie as the ending credits rolled.

“Can we watch it tomorrow?” Rachel nuzzled her face against her neck and snuggled into her side. “Can we cuddle for a while?”

“Don’t have to ask.” She shut the tv off and set the remote on the nightstand by her side. Her arm circled Rachel’s upper back over the covers draped over their bodies. 

“Will you ever tell me all the stories behind your scars?” Rachel’s hand trailed along her forearm to trace the one on her wrist. It was not like those she had seen on girls who hurt themselves. It was an oblique cut that went from side to side. 

“Will you keep drawing stars around them if I do?” She whispered against her forehead. 

“I’ll never stop liking those parts of you.” Rachel tilted her head to stare at her profile. “You’re beautiful and those marks define you.”

“Alcohol is a Fabray’s best friend,as you may have got.” She gulped softly and looked down at her wrist. “My Dad had come home in a sour mood. He had had issues at the office and he had stopped by his favorite bar on his way home. He was wasted.” 

She shook her head. “My Mom was in the kitchen cooking for us and I was playing with my toys on the living room floor. He didn’t see me. He went straight to the liquor cabinet and got his favorite bottle of whiskey.” She took in a deep breath. “He didn’t see the stuffed bear on the floor and he stumbled on it, he would have avoided it if he had been sober enough to walk like a human fucking being.” 

Rachel kissed her cheek softly as she raised her voice. “It smashed on the ground. A bottle of whiskey worth 300$ was all over the floor. I had used my hand to protect my face but the glass cut me. It slashed me.” 

“Quinn, my God.” Rachel gripped her shirt and nuzzled her neck slowly. She could almost see it play out in front of her and it pained her. It pained her as if she had been there with Quinn. 

“I didn’t shed a tear. I knew he was going to lash out at me and he did. He screamed so hard that my ears hurt.” She leaned down to nuzzle her nose against Rachel’s cheek. “I took it and when he was done, I went to the bathroom to wash my bear.”

“Didn’t they see you were hurt?” Rachel couldn’t really believe that her parents had been so careless. 

“He was drunk and my Mom was too busy cleaning the hardwood floors. Whiskey stains.” She laughed bitterly. “God, how fucked up is that? I removed the glass the best I could and cleaned it. It probably needed stitches.” 

“That’s awful.” Rachel tilted her head down to kiss her softly. 

“I am here to tell this story.” Quinn cupped her face and kissed her again. “I came back to you.” 

“I am not letting you go. Ever.” She shifted more and almost laid on top of the blonde, who had her hand under her shirt to caress her side slowly. 

“I like that.” Quinn tugged at her bottom lip, nibbling on it as their chests pressed together through the shirts they were wearing to bed. 

“Ever.” Her forearms cradled her head. Her lips pressed more insistently against Quinn’s.

**_And I knew you'd come back to me_ **

**_You'd come back to me_ **


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're still interested, only the epilogue left. Enjoy!

CHAPTER 5

**PART 9**

Dinner with Quinn and her mother was something she had done before. Of course, it had happened under different circumstances and the last time she had sat down with Judy, the older woman was drunk enough to barely notice her being there. 

“Hey.” Quinn greeted her at the door and took the coat for her. “You look beautiful.” She leaned in to peck her lips softly and quickly. 

“Am I too casual? I can go home and change into something more appropriate.” Rachel looked down at her polka dot dress and heeled boots, that gave her a little advantage against her girlfriend. 

“You’re fine, really.” She took her by the hand and led her into the living room, where Judy was finishing setting the table. “Rachel’s here, Mom.” 

“Rachel, dear.” Judy Fabay was not a hugger. She had been taught that displays of affection were not proper for a woman, who had to stay in her place most of the time but rehab had given her a new perspective. It had shed light on the way she had raised her own daughters. It had given her enough to think about, to turn her life around before it was too late. 

“Mrs. Fabray, thank you for having me tonight.” Rachel stood in front of the older woman, who simply pulled her in for a short hug. 

“I haven’t thanked you enough for what you did for my Lucy.” Judy looked over at her daughter, whose eyes were on Rachel. It was a glare she had seen multiple times and it seemed to always be directed to the brunette girl, after all. “Now, you can sit beside Quinn.” She pointed to the chair on her left. 

“Do you need a hand with anything?” She scooted the chair forward with Quinn’s help, who took her seating beside her. 

“It’s all set. Drink some water and the main course will be there soon.” Judy disappeared back in her kitchen, leaving the two girls alone.

“You’re sure you want to do this, Quinn? You just got your Mom back.” Rachel took her hand under the table. 

“I don’t want to hide our relationship. Your Fathers know about it and so should my Mom.” She threw a glance towards the kitchen. The coast was still clear. 

“What if she doesn’t accept it? You’re going to lose everything because of me.” Rachel squeezed her fingers. “I can wait, Quinn. I just care about being with you.” 

“It’s going to be alright, trust me.” Quinn leaned in to kiss her cheek quickly before her mom came back with their food. 

“So, this is my first time cooking a full vegan dinner. Excuse me if something is below your expectations.” Judy presented them with what looked like a vegan lasagna with zucchini. 

“That looks exquisite, Mrs. Fabray.” Rachel was not lying. She knew they were excellent cooks and she was used to takeouts or simpler dinners. “You didn’t have to go through so much trouble for me.”

“Well, it’s a special event isn’t it?” Judy winked at her daughter, who was left speechless. 

“Mom…” She looked at Rachel, who was still holding onto her hand. “I need to tell you something, before we begin eating.” 

“What is it, honey?” She filled the girls’ plates with a huge portion and then did the same for hers, licking her fingertips quickly. The vegan substitute for her bechamel sauce was almost as good as the real one. 

“Mom, I don’t want to go in circles around this.” She stood and looked down at Rachel, who still held her hand under the table. “I like girls, Mom, and I like Rachel.” She squeezed her hand softly. “We are dating.” 

“Oh, really now?” She looked at the brunette, who held her gaze. “How long have you been dating?”

“Well, it’s complicated.” Quinn furrowed her brows. “There was something a few months ago but she was still with Finn and we…” She stumbled on her words, trying to remember all the things occurred. “After Regionals, we officially got together.”

“So, you two weren’t dating last summer?” Judy took a seat and reached for her glass of ice water, sipping slowly. 

“No. We were not dating, Mrs. Fabray.” Rachel lightly tugged on Quinn’s hand, so she could take her seat beside her. 

“I must have totally misread the signals, then.” She chuckled over the rim of her glass.

“You thought we were dating?” Quinn looked at her mother. 

“I might have been inebriated most of the time, Lucy, but I am not blind.” She cut a piece of her lasagna and took a bite. “You two were glued to the hips and all the secret glances and PDAs? You never allowed anyone that close, Lucy, not even your mother.” 

“Oh.” Quinn looked down at her plate. 

“It’s not a bad thing to let someone in, honey.” She looked between the two girls. “Are you serious about your relationship?”

“Yes, we are.” Rachel replied before Quinn did, but she knew she felt the same. “We waited for so long.” 

“You should totally ask your Fathers to give me a call, Rachel.” Judy nodded with a smile. 

“Why?” Quinn asked, frowning. 

“Well, we need to agree on a few ground rules for you two.” She smirked at the blank faces they both sported.”I also need some insight on how to give you a proper talk about the joys of safe lesbian love.”

“Mom!” Quinn blushed hard and hid her face behind her palms. 

“What? Is it too late, already?” Judy raised an eyebrow in a perfect Fabray way. Quinn kept her face hidden behind her hands while Rachel tried to comfort her the best she could. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“What’s wrong with Quinn?” Sam stood beside Rachel, on the sidelines of the football field, attending the Cheerios’ last practice before the Nationals competition. “She’s barking orders and yelling at everyone.”

“We told her Mom about us.” Rachel followed her girlfriend around the field. She was running the training along with Santana, but it felt like she was channeling her perfect Coach Sylvester impression. The girls were drenched in sweat and doubled over, trying not to vomit for the strenuous activity. 

“Oh, did she take it badly? That’s why she’s so pissed off?” He nodded and looked at the blonde, who was running around the field with a group of cheerleaders - those who had survived the first hour of training - trailing behind her. 

“She took it well. She suspected we had something going on since last summer.” She chuckled, but her smile quickly dropped when Quinn shouted at the girls. She shouted so loudly that she was startled herself. “We have an open door policy and we can’t have sleepovers without parental supervision.” 

“Oh God. She’s sexually frustrated?” He laughed hard. 

“EVANS! GET OFF MY FIELD!!” Quinn shouted from where she stood, having stopped running when she realized she was doing it on her own. 

“Quinn…” Rachel tried to step in to defend him, but the blonde threw her an equally hard glance. “Oh damn.” 

“Good luck dealing with that.” Sam patted her back and saluted the blonde in a mocking way, before jogging away from the field. He really didn’t enjoy dealing with an angry Quinn Fabray. 

“5 minutes break.” Santana called from the sidelines and walked to her best friend. “You should tone it down, Q.” She handed her a bottle of water. 

“We’re not going anywhere if they don’t stop being so fucking lazy.” She took a long drag and looked at the group of cheerleaders sprawled on the grass, breathless. 

“You’re going to kill them. Go take a shower, I’ll finish it here.” She nodded to the brunette singer behind them. “Your personal cheerleader is here.” 

“Thanks for the heads up, San.” She kicked the bottle into the nearest bin and jogged towards the brunette, who stood on the bleachers. “Hey you.”

“Coach Sylvester.” She smirked at the blonde, who scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest. “You’re too hard on them, Quinn.”

“They can’t keep up.” She threw a glance over her shoulder, seeing the girls still sprawled on their backs. “Coach would’ve done worse.”

“I doubt anyone would be able to keep up with you.” She took a step down and cupped her heated cheeks, not minding the sweat covering her neck and hair. 

“I would still like to see you try.” She grinned and leaned in to peck her lips softly. 

“You need a long cold shower, Miss Fabray.” She pushed her back and jumped down the two remaining steps, standing on the ground beside her girlfriend. 

“Are you planning to join me?” She smirked at the brunette, who threw one of the towels at her face and then took off towards the locker room, with the blonde hot on her tail. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

**“** What time is your Mom coming home?” She trailed her lips along her neck and stopped around her pulse, to sink her teeth in and just resume the task of giving her a hickey. 

“Around…” Quinn tilted her head back, to give Rachel more room and slipped her hands down her back to slip them under the plates of her skirt and grab her by the backside. She squeezed it hard when she felt her teeth sink in her skin, almost painfully. “Around 6.30.” She had stolen a quick glance at the clock above the entertainment area. 

“We’ve got 30 minutes.” Rachel licked her marked skin soothingly and then switched to the other side, kissing up and down one of her favorite spots. 

“We should cool down.” Quinn’s hands dropped to the back of her knees, not to get tempted to slip under the girl’s underwear and touch her there, for the first time. 

“We should take advantage of this.” Stretching over the blonde, she nuzzled her cheek and cradled her head with her forearms. “If we had more time…”

“Rachel…” Quinn looked up into her girlfriend’s eyes. “Don’t stare at me that way.” Her thighs rubbed together because she could feel the effect Rachel was having on her. She could feel it throb between her legs, ruining another pair of underwear. 

“Me? What am I even doing?” Her arms dropped between their bodies and her hands shifted under the hem of her WHMS shirt, scratching along her flexing abs. “I’m just keeping my hands warm.” She leaned down to brush her lips over Quinn’s. “Very warm.” 

“You’re playing with fire.” Quinn flipped them over and pushed the brunette on her back, with her hands each side of her head, against the couch. 

“I want to play with you.” Rachel caught her bottom lip between her teeth and tugged at it. She tugged again until Quinn was pressing her down into the couch and was rolling her hips into hers. 

“When are your Fathers leaving for their anniversary?” Quinn groaned and kept pushing her knee between her thighs. Her knee was rubbing her through the underwear and she could feel the heat emanating from Rachel. She could feel it press against her bare knee. 

“Two weeks. They’ll leave on Friday and be back on Saturday evening.” She pulled her down to kiss her again. How could she miss her even if she was there with her? 

“I am flying back on Friday night, after my Cheerio competition.” She groaned against her mouth. “It’s a red eye flight…”

“I’ll pick you up and you can sleep over. You can tell your Mom you’ll be at Santana’s or wherever else.” She nuzzled her nose slowly and then kissed her again, brushing her tongue over her parted lips. 

“Sounds like a good plan.” Quinn dropped more of her weight against the brunette and kissed her harder. “I hope I won’t be too tired, ‘cause I want to do so many things to you.”

“I’ll make sure to keep you awake, Quinn.” She grinned against her lips and pulled the blanket over their heads, to get the best out of the remaining minutes alone they had together. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“I totally needed that.” Quinn emerged from the en-suite bathroom toweling her hair and wrapped in Rachel’s fluffy second robe. 

“I’m sure you did, after a 3 hours flight and two days of choreographies with stunning girls from all over the Country.” Rachel stood by her desk, admiring the trophy she had brought home. Even if she wasn’t the Captain, she was still the acknowledged leader and she got to take the trophy home with her. 

“I don’t see anyone like that, it’s just competition.” She checked the trophy and kissed the side of her girlfriend’s head. “I only see you.” She whispered in her ear. 

“Smooth talker.” She sat the trophy down and looked at the blonde, who wore an honest and disarming smile. She didn’t smile at anyone else the way she smiled at her. 

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t feel ready for, Rachel.” She kissed her ear again and pulled her in her arms, loosely circling her waist. “We can just go to sleep and spend the rest of the day together.”

“I am ready.” She nuzzled her face against her shoulder. “What if you don’t like it?” 

“Impossible.” She kissed her forehead. “I have no experience, either, Rachel...we can just learn together.” Her fingers slipped under her chin and tilted it back, so she could drop a soft feather-like kiss on her lips. Her eyes searched for Rachel’s uncertainty but she couldn’t read any. Her mouth disclosed enough to trace the fullness of Rachel’s bottom lip with her tip, while her hands trailed along her sides to reach the hem of her sweater and slip underneath. 

“Quinn…” She was shushed by Quinn’s mouth once again. She let the blonde kiss her so slowly that she felt like time stood still around them. It felt like they were an unstoppable force in an unmoving world, but it couldn’t happen could it? 

“Up.” She whispered against her lips when she lifted her arms and divested her off her sweater, dropping it carelessly on the floor. “Is this for me?” Her eyes landed on the lace bra that covered her breasts. 

“I got it yesterday. Do you like it?” Rachel looked down at her chest with embarrassment. Mercedes had suggested that, knowing what they were going to be up to. 

“Yes.” She released a shaky breath. “I like it.” Her fingers traced the shape of her bra, following the curves with both her hands and eyes. “But…” She looked up at the brunette, who frowned at her hesitance. “I’d like it better off you.” She smirked and expertly undid the front clasp, freeing her breasts. 

“How did you know it’d open on the front?” Rachel felt the bra slip off her arms and watched it land on her sweater. She had a feeling the rest of her clothes were going to end up there, sooner than later. 

“Lucky guess.” Quinn smirked and lifted her on the edge of her desk, standing between her parted thighs. “May I?” She hovered her breasts with her palms and looked at the brunette, needing her approval before going further. 

“Yes.” Rachel gulped and waited for that touch. She waited patiently, holding her breath while Quinn studied her chest with her eyes. 

“God, you’re perfect.” Quinn whispered mostly to herself and cupped her, with both hands. She simply cupped her breasts and let her fingers get acquainted with the weight and the shape of Rachel’s breasts. They felt big enough to fill her hands and they felt real. It wasn’t like when Santana had let her touch hers, to prove the quality of her boob surgery. These felt real and so good. 

“Quinn…” Rachel’s back arched to push them further against her palms. 

“You’re gorgeous.” Quinn dropped her face against her shoulder and nuzzled her nose along it. She kissed every inch of her neck with her eager mouth, while her fingers rolled her nipples with an expertise that she didn’t even have. “You’re so gorgeous.” She nibbled on her earlobe and tugged at it. She tugged at the tender skin of her lobe while her short nails scratched the skin around her nubs. She played with them until they felt hard and stiff. 

“Please…” Her legs were wrapped around Quinn’s waist. She was bucking her hips forward to get some sort of relief from having her breasts touched so exquisitely. For someone who lacked experience, Quinn surely knew how to reduce her to a quivering mess. 

“Do you want me to take your panties off, baby?” She whispered sultrily in her ear. 

“God, yes.” Rachel whimpered. She almost sobbed in her ear, but her thighs were sticky and her panties were just uncomfortably rubbing her there. 

“Your wish.” Quinn’s head trailed down to drop soft kisses along her collarbone and then downwards, across her sternum. Her mouth felt like lava on her already overheated skin. She felt on fire and they hadn’t done anything, yet. “Is my command.” Once on her knees, the blonde’s hands disappeared under her skirt to tug her matching panties down her legs and left them hanging around her calves. 

“Quinn…” She got a glimpse of Quinn’s eyes before she disappeared under her skirt. She couldn’t see her anymore, but she didn’t need to see her to feel her. She felt Quinn all over her when her warm breath hit her core. She felt her everywhere, when Quinn’s lips opened to french kiss her pussy like she had kissed her. “Oh God…” Her hand dropped to where she could only imagine Quinn’s head was and pushed against it, needing to feel more. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

She had been wrong about time standing still. Time was ticking away, slowly, but she couldn’t really care less about the hours rolling away. She couldn’t care about the night slowly fading away into a new dawn, when she had Quinn Fabray in her arms and was kissing her in a way that she had read in books or listened to, through songs. 

Quinn’s body slipped against her, fitting between her parted thighs, and weighed her down in the middle of her spacious bed. They had fallen in bed after her very first orgasm on her desk, with her hands tangled in Quinn’s hair and her tongue buried between her virginal legs. She had licked her for long and endless minutes, until she couldn’t really hold it in her anymore. Until she screamed out her name, in her soundproof room, for the first of many other times. They had fallen in bed, in a mess of limbs and remaining clothes, that had soon found their rightful places on the floor. They had fallen in bed and they had rolled around for hours, barely stopping to catch their breaths during their heated and multiple rounds. 

“Quinn…” She breathed out when she felt her fingers slip back inside of her. She would never get enough of feeling her inside of her, so gentle yet firm. She was definitely a fast learner. 

“I know you can…” Quinn couldn’t get enough of this. She couldn’t get enough of taking Rachel over and over again, until their bodies ached all over in pleasure and they couldn’t go on. They had mere hours left before her parents came home, so she had every intention to take advantage of that until their very last moment. 

“Please…” Rachel arched under her. Her nails scratched along her back to land on her spot.She held onto her lower back, pressing down against the scars at the bottom of her spine as her core spasmed again, gushing around Quinn’s fingers thrusting slowly into her. “Quinn…” It was a strangled cry. She felt like she couldn’t reach another orgasm, even if she knew Quinn would keep trying to give her another one. 

“God, you feel so good when you come for me.” Quinn pulled her fingers back and massaged the length of her core with her palm. She kept on stroking her slowly, causing short shots of pleasure to course along her tired body. 

“I need a break...I need to.” She pulled Quinn down for a hard kiss. She felt too tired to come, but it didn’t mean she could stop giving her girlfriend pleasure. She used that momentum to roll them over and straddle the blonde, with her arms above their heads. “Hi.” 

“Hi.” Quinn smiled and leaned in to kiss her slowly. They had kissed for hours and still couldn’t stop meeting halfway, even for the smallest pecks. They couldn’t keep their lips too far without diving in, to touch in some way. 

“You’re like an energizer bunny. Aren’t you tired?” She grinned and pecked her swollen lips. It was her own doing. She had bitten and nibbled enough to cause her lips to be swollen and red. She was pretty proud of her work. 

“I can sleep all the sex off tomorrow, but I’ve got you all to myself for a few more hours.” Quinn’s arms circled her head and held her against her, to exchange soft kisses. 

“Wish we could sleep it off together.” Rachel nodded, stroking her hair back to clear her face off it. “I miss sleeping with you there.” 

“We shouldn’t have come out to our parents.” Quinn nuzzled her nose slowly and rolled back over, settling comfortably on top of Rachel. “I could be sneaking into your room every night and do this, without fearing to be kicked out by your folks because I am breaking their rules.”

“You could still do it. What’s the worst thing that can happen?” Her leg locked behind Quinn’s thigh and the heel of her foot brushed along the back of it, slowly. 

“‘Cause you’re not the one risking your ass climbing up and down that tree.” She kissed her along her throat, retracing the marks she had left during their lovemaking. 

“Once a cheerleader, always a cheerleader. Right?” Rachel smirked proudly, quoting the blonde, before she was being tackled on the bed, for a tickle attack from the girl on top. “NO! NOO!!! QUINN!!” She laughed uncontrollably, trying to get away from her fingers. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“Good morning.” Rachel found her at her locker, storing the books away for her classes.

“Good morning.” Quinn found her smile infectious. They had a very good reason to smile like that and it was all in the fading marks that she sported proudly and that Rachel hid behind a scarf.

“What’s your schedule today?” She tried to sneak a peek inside her locker but the blonde shut it down. 

“You want to know if my free period is coincidental with yours?” Quinn turned them around and pushed her against the locker, hands each side of her head.

“I need to practice for Nationals, don’t get the wrong ideas.” Her hands grabbed onto the front of her uniform and tugged her forward by it, so they stood nose to nose. 

“So you weren’t hinting that we should find a private spot where to make out or do more? ‘Cause there’s the old physics lab on the third floor…” She whispered against her lips. “I’ve got the keys to get in.”

“You’re privileged.” Rachel brushed her lips slowly and tugged her closer by the Cheerio top, feeling her against her. “But I won’t have sex with you there.” 

“You’re no fun.” Quinn pecked her lips and pulled back. “You didn’t even tell me what you think of my look.” 

“What I think cannot be said here without risking to get suspended for public indecency.” Rachel leaned on her tiptoes to kiss her ear. “I will show you later.” 

“You’re bad. Very bad.” Quinn’s hands almost slipped against her lockers. She felt weak in her knees and it was all because of Rachel. 

“You like me.” Rachel kissed her cheek and got back on her feet, hands resting on the girl’s hips. 

“I-“ She knew her feelings for Rachel were more than just liking her. But was she ready to say that loud? 

“Quinn...stop making out with Berry. Coach wants to see us.” Santana called from the end of the hallways, pinky intertwined with Brittany.

“You should go.” Rachel patted her hips and took a step back, backing against the lockers. 

“Lunch together? We can go sit in the quad.” She leaned down to steal one last soft kiss from the brunette. Rachel’s hands held onto the back of her head to keep her there and kiss her harder and longer. 

“I got your BLT in my locker.” Rachel smiled at the grin on the blonde’s face. “You’re such a carnivore.”

“You still made it for me.” She pecked her and pulled back, reaching for her bag at their feet. 

“Go, before Santana drags you there by your tight pony.” She pushed her towards the two cheerleaders. 

“You’re surprisingly happy.” Santana rolled her eyes when Quinn kept stealing glances at the brunette, who was still leaning against her locker. 

“She makes me happy.” Quinn winked at the brunette and turned towards her friends. “What?”

“Nothing, Q.” Santana shrugged and looked over at her own girlfriend. “It’s a nice change.” 

“Quinn?” Brittany slipped around her other side and linked their arms together. 

“Yes, B?” She looked up at the taller girl. 

“You should tell Rachel.” She looked over their shoulders and saw the brunette with Kurt and Mercedes. 

“Tell her what?” Santana asked, beating Quinn. 

“That I love her.” As they walked, she let her eyes linger on the brunette who was walking the opposite direction towards her first period. 

“Ay! Dios mio.” Santana groaned and walked ahead of the two blondes, who just laughed at her reaction. 

“Don’t mind her, she hasn’t gotten any lately.” Brittany whispered in Quinn’s ear, making her laugh harder. 

She threw one last glance over her shoulder, in time to catch Rachel looking back at her with a soft smile and waved back at her. They had just parted ways and she already counted down the minutes to get back into her arms...

**_And you'd come back_ **


	6. EPILOGUE

**a/n: so this story has come to an end. I want to personally thank you all the readers who have taken time to read and review my story...I have a few ideas for my new stories (some already written down and some in my mind), however I decided to take same time to evaluate the next steps and when I will publish them.**

**To be totally honest, I don't write only for myself but also for all those fans that are still following the fandom and as much as Faberry is no longer as big and active as it used to be, there's a part of me who would wish for more reviews and feedback (not only the positive ones, of course, but also the constructive criticism to be a better writer).**

**But since I can't shrug that though off, I will be taking some time from writing/posting new stories to see things back in perspective and focus more on myself than seeing if the grass is greener on the other side.**

**Until then (sorry for the long rant), I hope you will enjoy this last chapter and the whole story.**

**It's been a pleasure to write this fiction for Faberry, based on a great song.**

**EPILOGUE**

**PART 10**

" _Where's everyone?" Quinn entered the familiar choir room, surprised to find Rachel sitting at the piano on her own._

" _Glee was dismissed early, there's a football game." She moved her fingers on the keyboard, trying to follow the music in her head but she kept missing a note._

" _And why are you not going?" She looked around the room and lingered on the seat she usually occupied. "Finn must be bummed."_

" _He won't even notice." She replayed the notes, hoping to have gotten it right this time. But she was wrong, again._

" _It's a G." Quinn leaned against the piano and looked down at the brunette. "You're doing A, but it's a G."_

" _How do you know?" Rachel looked up at her._

" _Call it instinct?" The pink haired girl took a seat on the piano bench beside her. "Or maybe ten years of piano lessons?"_

" _I wondered why you had a piano in your living room." Rachel watched her hands move smoothly on the keyboard, playing one of those classical tunes by memory._

" _I wanted to play guitar or the drums, but it was not proper enough for a girl. Frannie played the piano and she sucked at it." She chuckled softly. "I was a natural player."_

" _You are." She watched her with rapture. She was totally mesmerized by the way she moved along the keyboard, hitting the notes with the right pressure and tempo. "Why don't you play more often? Or think of it for a future?"_

" _Because music doesn't bring money nor a husband. It doesn't put a roof over your head." She stopped playing and looked at Rachel. "I can't make a life out of music but you totally can."_

" _Quinn…" Rachel looked at the ex-blonde and kept her hands in her lap. She only wanted to pull her in her arms and hold her. Hold her tightly._

" _I'm sorry for leaving like that, yesterday." Quinn lifted the sleeve of her ripped shirt and revealed a bruise. "It's healing, see?"_

" _Who did it?" She hovered the bruise with her hand. She wanted to touch it, but she didn't want to hurt her. "Your Mom?"_

" _I came home and he was there. He was yelling at my Mom about things that he had left behind and wanted back. He was going to hit her…" Rubbing the back of her head, she sighed. "I pushed him off her and he fell, just like a sack of potatoes." She laughed bitterly._

" _He did this?" She brushed her thumb under the bruise._

" _I helped my Mom up and out of there, but he got back on his feet. He grabbed me from the arm and slammed me against the front door. It hurt like a bitch." She looked at the brunette. "But imagine what he must've felt when I kneed him in the groin." She grinned proudly._

" _Quinn…" She couldn't help the smile. "You got lucky." She rested her head against her shaking shoulder and wrapped her arms around her arm._

" _He taught me well." Quinn kissed her forehead softly. "He taught us how to fight."_

" _I realized that when you came to my rescue." She kissed her shoulder and looked up at the taller girl._

" _I should teach you a couple of moves. New York can be dangerous." She dropped her chin against her forehead. "I can't be there to protect you."_

" _Why not? We can audition for Julliard together. You will be the piano player and I will sing." Rachel looked at her hands on the piano. "We can be on stage together."_

" _That sounds like a nice dream, Rachel." She sighed and closed her eyes. She knew Rachel was meant to make her dreams come true but she had no chances. She had none after what happened._

" _Play for me." Rachel released her arm and sat beside her, with their shoulders touching. Quinn nodded softly and closed her eyes, letting her memory guide her hands as she made music for Rachel._

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

Her hair trickled the skin of her shoulders and upper back as her mouth dropped butterfly kisses all over it. Her hands held Quinn's arms down, stretched at her sides with her palms down. They were basking in the aftermath of another very satisfying sexual encounter and they were just relaxing together, taking advantage of the time they had to just lie there.

"I'm not going to move, you know?" Quinn's head rested comfortably against the mattress. She was sprawled on her stomach, with a thin blanket draped over her waist leaving most of her upper body exposed to the light coming from the room and, mostly, to Rachel's touch.

"You're my prisoner?" Rachel pulled her hair to the side and dropped more kisses between her shoulders.

"I am yours to do whatever you want with me." Quinn looked at her over her shoulder and found her eyes, even if she was trying to hide her face against her shoulder.

"You're such a smooth talker, Quinn Fabray." She rested her head against her shoulder and slipped her arms under her, lacing her hands just below her breasts.

"I am not being smooth, just honest." Quinn perched herself on her elbows, carrying both their weights with ease. She would carry her to the ends of the known world, if Rachel asked her to. She craned her neck enough to nuzzle Rachel's temple with the tip of her nose. "I need to show you something."

"I am not able to have another orgasm, Quinn." Rachel squeezed her arms around her sides and snuggled more into the blonde, who chuckled at that confession. "I'm serious."

"I am not talking about something sexual, baby." Quinn nodded to the nightstand by the bed. "Can you get the envelope for me?"

"What is it?" She took it and checked the sender. Her breath caught in her throat when she read the familiar name on the envelope. "This looks like a college application, Quinn." She sat up on her knees and stared at the open letter.

"Go ahead, read it." Quinn had rolled on her back to stare up at her girlfriend. Her hands rested behind her head, pillowing it as she just took in the reactions that were crossing the brunette's face, as she read through the letter addressed to her.

"You got into Yale." Rachel re-read the last paragraph, to make sure she had read it right. "You got into Yale." She dropped it and looked down at the blonde, who had sat up and stared up at her with a beaming smile. "You got into Yale, Quinn."

"I got into Yale." She braced herself for the one of the best kisses of her life. It was probably in her Top 3 with Rachel and in her Top 3 ever. She really didn't consider the kisses she had before Rachel and she knew there would be no one else after her to make it there. There could be no one else after Rachel.

"When did this happen?" Her hands were still tangled in her hair. Her fingers were still lost in her perfect hair, messed up by all the tugging and the rolling around between her cotton sheets. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"When Coach asked us to go to her office, earlier today. There were recruiters at the competition and they were impressed by our performance." She smiled when Rachel's lips connected with hers again. She was unable to part from her and she loved it. She loved the neediness of her kisses and touches. It felt like she needed her as much as she needed Rachel. "I got my admission letter and a ticket out of here."

"I'm so proud of you, Quinn." She lifted her chin and crushed her mouth against the blonde's, who fell back on the mattress and took her along. Their limbs tangled messily under the blankets, but as long as she was pressed into the blonde, she really didn't care about her ability to move. She had no intention to move at all.

"I would have never turned my life around without you." Quinn had her on her back and hovered her. She panted against her lips, staring down into her eyes that shone with happiness and love. Was it love for her? "Rachel, I gotta tell you something else…"

"What is it?" Rachel's hand cupped her cheek. Her thumb brushed just below her eye, causing Quinn to close it briefly.

"I love you, Rachel." Quinn shifted closer. "I love you more than anyone else in my life." She leaned in to capture her lips in a soft kiss. She was kissing her like the first time.

"Quinn…" Rachel's hands trailed along her back to grip her by it. She dug her nails into the familiar scars that she couldn't really stop touching. "Quinn, I love you too." She whispered in her mouth, like a secret that was meant to be kept between them.

"You do?" Quinn grinned against her lips.

"I don't think I've ever loved anyone the way I love you." She would probably love never anyone else like Quinn, but she didn't want to go there. She didn't want to think about those coming after her because in her mind it was something impossible. So, she shook those thoughts out of her head and focused on the feeling of Quinn being all over her. That was all she could think of. All she wanted to think of.

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

"What are you doing here? I thought I was bunking with Brittany." Rachel was pleasantly surprised to see Quinn waltz into her room, with her duffel bag draped over her shoulder.

"Reading people and their needs is a talent, Miss Berry." She dropped her bag and looked at the twin beds, pushed against the opposite walls.

"What did you do, Quinn?" She leaned against the wall watching her study the room.

"Tina is scared of Santana, who is even meaner when she doesn't get any from Brittany, so I found a solution that would benefit us all." She turned to face her. "Mercedes is moving into Tina's room, Santana is switching in Mercedes' room with Brittany and that leaves us together." She advanced on the brunette, who was smirking at her

"You're an evil mastermind." She tugged her closer by the front of her dress and reached behind her back with the other, unzipping it. "What if the guys complain about it?"

"Well Mercedes and Tina's room is down the hallway and right across Sam and Mike's room." Quinn let her arms down just to feel the dress pool at her feet, revealing her red bra and underwear underneath.

"You're a fucking genius." Her arms slipped around her neck to bring her closer and into a well deserving kiss. "So, I have you all to myself without fearing any parental interruption?"

"Two nights for us, without parents." She pressed into the brunette who just pulled her closer, caressing the back of her neck slowly. "Which bed do you want?"

"The one with you in it." Rachel nipped at her pulse, sinking her teeth in her perfect skin enough not to leave a mark. Showing up with a hickey on stage wasn't going to look good.

"Good answer." She braced herself against the wall and let Rachel nip at her neck, while her hands palmed her hips and down to her backside. "God…"

"You can call me, Rachel." She pushed the blonde towards the closer bed until she landed on it, on her back. She went to straddle her when a loud knock stopped her. "You're kidding me?" She pouted and looked down at Quinn, who was perched up on her elbows and wore an equally frustrated smile.

"Rachel? Glee meeting in 10 minutes." Finn called from the other side of the door.

"If I had a penis, it'd be soft now." Quinn muttered upon hearing her ex's voice. It didn't take her much to lose her mood when he was involved.

"Don't be melodramatic, Quinn. That's my signature." Rachel leaned down to peck her lips, almost apologetically. "We will cut dinner short and come back here to finish this, ok?"

"Fine. But if he dares to look at you the wrong way, I'll kick him in the balls." She retrieved her dress from the floor and put it back on, zipping herself up with Rachel's help.

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

_She didn't have to climb her way up to her room. She found her sitting on the grass in her backyard, staring off into space with her arms wrapped around her knees. She could tell something was wrong the moment she had seen her crouched there, lost in her thoughts._

" _Hey, what are you doing out here?" Quinn dropped beside her as soon as she was close enough. She had dropped unceremoniously on her butt and bent her knees, leaving her arms out behind her._

" _I didn't want to hear them arguing." She nodded to her house._

" _Oh. What about?" She had seen the living room lights on as she had rounded the house, but she hadn't noticed the car in the driveway._

" _My fault, I guess." She sniffed and rested her chin over her knees._

" _What happened?" Quinn wasn't very good at comforting people. She sat there, beside Rachel and let her vent. That could be helpful too._

" _They found this in my bag…" She handed her a pamphlet with Los Angeles and "UCLA" written all over it. "It's not mine, of course. It's something Finn gave me."_

" _Finn? Finn Hudson?" She took it and read through it. "What does he have to do with this thing? Isn't he going to OSU?"_

" _Apparently, he's looking around and there are recruiters that come from UCLA. He wants to be an actor." She sniffed and looked down at her feet._

" _That's ridiculous. He sucks at acting almost as much as he sucks at being a quarterback." She threw it aside and looked at the brunette. "Your parents thought you had changed your mind about New York? You're having doubts?"_

" _I don't know. I mean...UCLA is good, right?" She looked away from Quinn, knowing she was going to be given the same lecture._

" _Close your eyes." Quinn whispered softly._

" _Quinn…" She looked at her. Was it a game to her?_

" _Trust me, ok? Close your eyes." She covered her eyes with her palm. "Now, I want you to tell me where you see yourself in 10 years."_

" _Broadway." Rachel had no doubt about it. "I see myself on a stage on Broadway, it's my debut night."_

" _Okay. Now, tell me where you see yourself in 20 years." She kept her eyes covered._

" _Still there. I am still on Broadway with a Tony on my shelf." She nodded softly._

" _Last one...where do you see yourself in 5 years?" Quinn lifted her hand, sure that Rachel would've kept her eyes closed._

" _Graduating from NYADA with an understudy role for an off-Broadway production." She exhaled slowly and looked at the ex-blonde._

" _Los Angeles is nice but it's not your city, Rachel. New York has always been the city of your dreams." She took the pamphlet and ripped it in shreds. "Don't let a boy's dream waiver you from your dreams. No one is worthy enough to keep you from New York and Broadway." She let the wind pick the remaining pieces and they both watched them fly away, along with the idea of following Finn to Los Angeles._

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

"I saw Carmen Tibideaux in the audience." Rachel was facing the window, staring out of it while Quinn was wrapped around her from behind.

"The one from your NYADA audition?" Quinn's fingers trailed along her forearm until she reached for her hand and laced their fingers together against the mattress. The bed was small for two occupants but they didn't need much space, after all. They actually enjoyed the idea of being pressed together, even better if there were no clothes separating them.

"Yes. Do you think I'll get in?" She backed into the blonde's front, feeling her arms tighten around her and a kiss being dropped against her neck, from behind.

"Yes. I don't doubt it." Quinn's lips stayed there, against her neck. She knew Rachel needed her reassurance that their future plans weren't going to change. She needed her to tell her everything was going to work out just fine. Just like she had dreamt for years. "You're talented."

"What if it's not enough? I am not unique." She hid her face against Quinn's forearm that was pillowing her head. She nuzzled it slowly and couldn't help the small sob. She couldn't help shed a tear at the thought she was close but not enough to make it there.

"You'll get in, Rachel." Quinn curled around her and held her a little tighter. "You'll get on a train to New York at the end of the next summer and I'll be there on the platform, watching you go." She whispered in her ear softly. "You'll be in New York and I'll be in New Haven, with only 83 miles in between us." She stroked her side slowly. "I'll call you at the end of the day and you'll tell me about the girls trying to steal your solos and the bitchy blonde who is trying to get your attention."

"But I won't give her any attention. There's only one blonde for me." She reached for her hand and kissed her palm and the scar on her wrist. "But what if...what if I don't get in, Quinn?"

"We'll figure it out, Rach." She nuzzled her temple softly. "We'll find something else and you will try again, once admissions are open." She kissed her ear. "I am not going to let you deal with it on your own. You're not alone, okay?"

"You'll have Yale. You'll have to focus on that." She rolled in her arms and buried her face against her neck, crying slowly into it. "You have a future ahead of you."

"A future that wouldn't have happened without you." Quinn's fingers rubbed her back slowly. "If you hadn't been there, I wouldn't have gotten back to the Cheerios and gotten this scholarship. I wouldn't have gotten my mom back." She tilted her head down to kiss her trembling lips. "I can't have a future without you in it, Rachel. I am not going to let you go." She kissed her again.

"Kiss me." Rachel's hands cupped her face and brought her closer. She needed to feel Quinn's love for her. She knew the blonde loved her and she had said it. She had said it all day after they had won Nationals and she had lifted the trophy above their heads. She had said it when they kissed behind a pillar, rewarding each other for what they had achieved. She had said it as she made love to her, all night long. She had said it but she needed to feel it. She needed to feel that love through all the kisses and the gentle touches against her secret spots, that only Quinn had mapped and gotten to know.

"I am not going anywhere without you." Quinn nodded against her lips and guided her on her back, taking her rightful place back on top.

They had won but it felt like Rachel was lost somewhere else. Somewhere far that she couldn't reach despite her best attempts to pull her out of it. Looking down into Rachel's eyes, she saw the concern of seeing her dream slip out of her grasp.

She saw the sadness and the doubt and all she could do was just lean down and kiss her tears away. All she could do was lean down and replace her sadness with her love, hoping it was going to be enough for tonight. At least for one night.

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

_Rachel had seen the shadow outside of her window but it had stayed there. Quinn hadn't come inside like she usually did. She was simply sitting there, on the roof outside her bedroom with a cigarette dangling from her lips._

" _Hey. What are you doing out here?" She leaned halfway out of the window, bracing her hands against the window still._

" _I needed a smoke but I know your room is off limits." Quinn pointed to her burning stick. "Come sit with me, until I finish this one."_

" _Is it safe?" Rachel looked at the roof._

" _Here, let me help you." She held her hand out and Rachel held onto it, as she climbed out of her window and took a tentative seat beside the pink haired girl. "You're going to get cold." She nodded to her camisole and PJ pants._

" _I was supposed to stay in my cozy and very warm room, until someone changed my plans." She shifted closer to the other girl, who chuckled and locked their arms together, letting her borrow some of her warmth. "How many today?"_

" _3rd in a row." Quinn exhaled slowly and blew the smoke out, in the colder air. Late August was not summer anymore in Lima._

" _You should really consider quitting, Quinn. It's not good for your voice and your health." She nudged her forehead against her shoulder. "What caused this?"_

" _Straight to the point, huh?" She flicked the ashes to the side. Her eyes scanned the area in front of them, staring nowhere in particular. She was watching without really looking at it. "My sister called."_

" _Francine?" She furrowed her brows and hugged her forearm a little tighter. "Is she visiting?"_

" _Not really." She chuckled, recalling the awkward conversation with her Mother. "She dropped out of college and is traveling with some NGO in South America to save the Amazon Forest." She kept on shaking her head, in disbelief. "My perfect sister dropped from her Ivy League college to follow some hipster dude across South America, backpacking and hitchhiking."_

" _Why is that so funny?" Rachel was confused._

" _I'm thinking of my Dad's face. Both his daughters turned out to be a disgrace to him and to the Fabray's name." She laughed bitterly. "I was a lost cause from the beginning, but Frannie? She was the apple of his eye. I wonder if he's having a heart attack somewhere out there."_

" _You don't really mean that, Quinn." She squeezed her hands around her arm. "He's still your Father. You don't have good memories of him? Nothing at all?"_

" _You're right, I don't wish him dead." She killed her cigarette and flicked it away, watching it land in the neighbor's yard. Rachel was going to kill her if it landed on her pristine green grass. "But he must feel pretty bad about himself. Two disappointing daughters in one generation."_

" _Francine is doing what she believes will make her happy and so should you. Just because your notion of happiness is not what your parents decided for you, it doesn't mean you're a disappointment." She shivered and got closer to the ex-blonde, who wore a sleeveless top but seemed to be fine._

" _Having a baby out of wedlock and giving up on it is not really my definition of happiness, either." Quinn said softly and looked down at her now flat stomach. "I thought that getting back on top of the social hierarchy would've made me happy, but I felt nothing, so I did this…" She pointed to her clothes and hair. "This is my last attempt of getting an ounce of happiness out of this fucked up life."_

" _But you're not happy." Rachel nodded softly. "When was the last time you were happy, Quinn? That you felt happy, for real?"_

" _When I was still Lucy." Quinn looked up at the stars above their heads. "I was at my grandfather's, in the countryside, and he pulled out his old telescope and we watched the meteor shower for the whole night, until the sun came up. He taught me about the stars, you know?" She kept gazing at them, with a soft smile. "I still have his telescope in my room. I inherited it when he passed away 5 years ago."_

" _Lucy is still there, Quinn. You just need to let her out, from time to time." Rachel rested her head against her shoulder, shivering more._

" _You're cold. We should get back inside." Quinn looked down at her._

" _The stars are so bright tonight, it'd be a shame to miss them." She shook her head and looked up._

" _Put this on." Quinn took the white cardigan sweater from around her waist and draped it over the girl's shoulders, to keep her warm. "I always have it with me. it's my favorite." She returned her gaze above their heads and just sat there, with Rachel, watching the stars like good old times._

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

"Hey. Your Dad told me you were in your room but I never expected to find you out here." Quinn peeked her head out of the window and found her sitting on the roof in front of her room. "Do you want to be alone?"

"Come sit with me." Rachel held her hand out and Quinn took it, as she walked out of the room and slipped beside her, sitting on the roof.

"It's been a while since we did this." Quinn bent her knees and rested her elbows on them, looking at the sun setting down on the horizon. Perfect timing.

"Yes. Stars have always been our thing." Rachel slipped her arm through Quinn's and laid her head against her shoulder. "Your childhood memories, our late night conversations…"

"Stars are a metaphor for your future as well." Quinn kissed her forehead softly. "You're a star."

"Not yet." She reached for the envelope beside her and handed it to the blonde, like she had done with her own weeks before. "It was in the mall."

"You opened it." Quinn straightened and took it, unfolding it to be able to read it. "We are pleased to inform you that your admission to the Bachelor of Music has been approved." She reread it and then looked at Rachel, who was sitting beside her. "You got in."

"I got in." Rachel beamed and slipped a hand behind her neck to pull her down for a soft kiss. "Thank you for wanting to do this with me." She whispered against her lips.

"I told you. I am not going anywhere without you." Quinn sniffed and leaned in to kiss her again. Her hands cupped both her cheeks to tilt her head so they could deepen the kiss.

"And I am not letting you go. You're stuck with me." She chuckled through the tears. They were one step closer to make both their dreams come true.

"So are you." Quinn smirked and crushed her mouth against hers, opening it slightly to suck Rachel's tongue in her mouth. She kept on sucking it slowly while their lips moved frantically and their hands reached the first available patch of skin.

"I am so close to book a hotel room downtown to have my way with you, all night long." Rachel gulped and pushed her forehead against her girlfriend's.

"Stupid open door policy." Quinn nodded and kissed her again. "My mom is leaving tomorrow with her rehab group for a 2-days meeting or something like that. You can sleep over and we can have the house to ourselves."

"I need to pack a bag and call Mercedes to cover for me." She inhaled deeply when Quinn's lips trailed along her jawline.

"You don't need to pack clothes you won't use. You won't need them." She nipped at her jaw and pulled her almost in her lap.

"God, we should get back inside. We can't make love but we can still make out." She groaned after a particular hard nip. "Let's get back inside, baby."

"Wait...no, I need…" Quinn pulled from her neck to check the time on her smartwatch. "I need to show you something." She kissed her neck and looked at her, with a smile.

"Can you show me inside my room? With the sun gone, it's kind of cold." She rubbed bare shoulders and arms.

"Come here. Sit between my legs." She guided her in her lap, between her outstretched legs with her back to her front and her arms around her chest from behind.

"Better. You're warm and smell good." She nuzzled her face against the side of her neck, kissing it slowly. Her hands laced around the forearms wrapped around her chest and side.

"You smell good too. My little strawberry." Quinn kissed the side of her head and took her phone out.

"What are you going to show me, Quinn?" She tilted her head back against her shoulder to look at the blonde.

"Five minutes and you'll see it." Quinn pecked her nose and lips, rewarding her impatience with a kiss. "I promise."

"Okay." She leaned back against her girlfriend and snuggled into her neck, pulling her arms more around her upper body.

"Alright, it should be out there somewhere." She checked her phone and looked up, following the directions she was given.

"What are you talking about?" She checked the girl's phone but she could only see a map of the sky.

"Your graduation gift." Quinn grinned when she spotted it. "There it is."

"My gift?" She headbutted her gently under the chin, catching her attention."Quinn?"

"Sorry, baby." Quinn kissed her forehead. "Follow my finger ok?" She lifted her arm and pointed it right across from where they were sitting, only slightly to the left. "You see it? It's just below the Ursa Minor."

"What am I supposed to stare at, Quinn? I see a smaller star." She had caught the star right below the dipper. She saw it shine for them.

"Well, that's your star." She kissed her temple and squeezed her with the arm still around her.

"My star?" She was at loss. "You named a star after me?"

"Yes. I have the certificate in my email." Quinn kept her lips against the side of her head. "So, now there are two stars named after you, one on the earth and the other in the sky." She looked down at the brunette who was staring at her, despite the odd angle. "Whenever you feel lost, you can just look up and see your own star in the sky. Stare at it and you'll remember who you are."

"I don't know what to say…" Rachel would've married her on the spot if she could have. It was the most romantic and thoughtful gift she had ever received. How could she match that? It wasn't a competition but if it had been one, Quinn would've been the winner who got to keep her heart forever.

"Whenever I won't be there to tell you that, I'll know you have something guiding you on my behalf. Who is better than yourself? You don't need anyone else but you." Quinn cupped her face to kiss her softly.

"I need you. I will always need you.. It was a wonderful gift." Rachel circled her head with her arm and pulled her head down so they could keep on kissing softly. "I love you."

"i love you too." Quinn whispered against her lips and kissed her again, unable to tear her eyes off her while she stared at her star in awe."We should head back inside, it's getting colder for you."

"I want to keep on staring at it. Please?" She looked at Quinn with a pout that won her over. When the blonde nodded, she settled back into her arms and stared at the star named after her.

"Here. This will keep us warm enough." Quinn slipped her cardigan from around her waist over their heads. It was ample enough to fit both their heads through the collar and to create a cozy and warm cocoon.

"We're going to ruin it. It's your favorite." Rachel leaned back in the blonde girl and found a comfortable spot against her shoulder, after having dropped a soft kiss on her smiling lips.

"No. You're my favorite." Quinn crossed her legs over Rachel's and her arms around her chest, making sure to keep a palm against Rachel's beating heart. She dropped her face against the side of her neck and closed her eyes for a moment, releasing a sincere happy sigh.

She was happy again.

Sitting together, they stared off in the distance waiting for their future to unfold before their curious eyes with their hearts full of love for each other.

_**And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed** _

_**You put me on and said I was your favorite** _

**THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always more than welcome.
> 
> See you soon
> 
> Fallendarknight86

**Author's Note:**

> here we are...this is the new fic that I had in mind for a while, since I listened to TS album. Leave your comments and thoughts!!!


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